


Could You Be Mine?

by hearts_ofwar



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: A little bit of violence, Alec has problems making conversation sometimes, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Clubbing, Drinking, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pub Crawl, Rated E for later chapters, Sexual Tension, i don't know how to tag, i suck at writing violence though so it's really not that bad, slight social anxiety
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-20
Updated: 2016-07-22
Packaged: 2018-07-16 04:49:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 31,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7253074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hearts_ofwar/pseuds/hearts_ofwar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alec, in his second year at university, has decided to move into the campus dorms. His roommate is Magnus.<br/>Some fun, slow building tension that will one day explode (both figuratively and literally!)<br/>More tags will follow as the story progresses (wouldn't want to spoil anything now would I?)<br/>I apologise for being so bad at summaries</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo I started writing this because I noticed there weren't very many Malec uni AUs (not many with heaps of smut anyway) and I'm a sucker for those. 
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I am Australian and I will spell things the Australian way. Oh yeah, and I don't own any of these characters or anything
> 
> Hope you enjoy the first chapter :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just an introduction to the story and the characters :)

 

  “Izzy! For God’s sake, I’m moving out of home, not the country,” Alec grumbled as his sister hugged him for the third time. 

  “You might as well be moving out of the country, the house feels so empty!” Isabelle mumbled into Alec’s neck, and it sounded as though she may be crying.

  Alec detached himself from her and took a step back to discourage anymore displays of affection. He loved his sister, he really did, but she was overreacting big time.

  Alec was about to begin his second year studying a ‘Sport, Health and Physical Activity’ degree at the Institute. Honestly, he still wasn’t sure what it even was. But the Institute was the top university in the country, and his parents would’ve been incredibly disappointed if he didn’t study _something_. 

  _The Lightwoods have been Institute alumni for generations, Alec_. He could hear his fathers stern tone in his head constantly, pushing at him to do his best so as to ‘uphold the family honour’. It was exhausting. 

  However, after getting a three-year scholarship, it seemed like a waste not to go. And after the first year, Alec decided he didn’t actually mind university that much. 

  There was only one problem: Alec couldn’t stand to be at home anymore. He couldn’t study properly there, with Jace constantly tempting him with video games, and Izzy playing  her boyfriend’s band’s music at the highest volume fifteen hours a day. Not to mention his parents hounding him for the small things. _Clean your room Alec. Alec, it’s your turn to do the washing. How are your grades? A distinction isn’t good enough to get that GPA you need if you want to do the honours degree, Alec!_

  Alec had had enough within the first semester. So halfway through the year, he applied for a room on campus. It’d taken six months, but considering that several students were probably due to move out at the end of the year as they’d finished their degrees, it made sense. 

  Isabelle pouted as he started packing his bags in the car. 

  “It’s not as if I won’t see you everyday anyway, Izzy. We go to the same uni!”

  “It won’t be the same,” she sighed. “Who will I fight with for the last piece of pizza?”

  Jace marched towards the car, pausing briefly to say: “Hi, Izzy. It’s me, Jace. I don’t know if we’ve met. I think we live in the same house?” In a highly sarcastic tone.

  “Ha ha,” Isabelle replied, and Jace gave Alec a broad grin. 

  “Within a week, she won’t even remember that you lived here,” Jace stated matter-of-factly.

  “I believe you.”

  “Hey!” Izzy huffed.

  Maryse, Alec’s mother, came out of the house then and stopped next to Isabelle.

  “Alec. If you don’t go soon, they’ll lock the main entrance doors,” she told him.

  Alec rolled his eyes. “I have a keycard Mum, I’ll be fine.”

  “Still. You should be on your way. Your roommate is probably alread-”

  “Muuum. I told you, my roommate has been living there for a year already. He isn’t going to care when I arrive. It’s not a competition to see who can unpack first.”

  Maryse gave Alec a brief hug. “Everything is a competition sweetheart.”

  Alec rolled his eyes, and watched in horror as Jace climbed into the driver’s seat. “What, Mum no! I thought Dad was driving me?”

  “Your father has been delayed at the office. Jace volunteered.”

  “I’ll be careful!” Jace chimed in.

  “Jace your driving terrifies the shit out of me,” Alec protested. 

  “Well it’s a good thing you have a change of pants in the back then, isn’t it?”

  “JACE!”

  “Go on now, sweetheart, you’ll be fine,” Maryse encouraged.

  Alec hugged both her and Isabelle one last time.

  “Love you,” Isabelle called as he got in the car.

  “Love you too,” he replied, signally at Jace to start driving.

 

  After three trips from the car park to the dorm, Alec dragged his last bag up the stairs. Maybe Jace should’ve helped him. At least then he wouldn’t have been meeting his new roommate alone.

  _Magnus Bane_. _Magnus. Bane. Magnus._ _Who names their child Magnus?_ Alec wondered. 

  As Alec approached the door, he heard a loud thud. _I hope there isn’t a football practice problem we’re going to have to talk about._

  Juggling three bags at once, Alec eventually managed to twist the door knob and open the door. 

  “Hello-” he began to call out but stopped suddenly.

  Alec had just interrupted a very er- _heated_ make out session against the wall between a very attractive boy and a probably equally as pretty girl. If you were into that sort of thing. Which Alec definitely was not. 

  The attractive boy however... From the back, Alec could see that he was slim, but not skinny. He wore a purple silky looking shirt that, even at the back, was decorated in shimmering sequins. Tight, dark blue jeans sat low on his hips and outlined his calves very nicely. Again, if you were into that sort of thing. 

  Did he mention that the boy was very attractive?

  The boy stopped suddenly, and glared at Alec.

  “Who are you?” he asked sharply, before noticing the bags Alec was clutching very tightly. “Oh, right. Camille? Stop that.”

  The girl, who’d never actually broken skin contact with the boy and was kissing his neck as they spoke, laughed a little.

  “You don’t really want that do you, Magnus?” she taunted.

  “ _Camille_ ,” the boy - Magnus, apparently - said again, exasperated. “We have a guest?”

  _Guest?_ Alec thought sourly. _Guest? I live here too now._

  Camille grumbled, but unhooked her legs from around Magnus’s waist. 

  “Fine,” she muttered, stalking out of the room before giving Magnus one last, knowing glance. “I’ll see you later.”

  Magnus gazed sorrowfully after her, before shaking his head and refocusing his attention on Alec.

  “You must be Alexander,” he swaggered up to Alec, holding out his hand. “I’m Magnus.”

  “I gathered,” Alec replied, shaking his hand briefly.

  “Sorry about... that. Although you should probably learn to knock.”

  “You didn’t think about the fact that everyone is moving into their new dorms today?” Alec responded quickly.

  Magnus stopped whatever he’d been about to say, and thought about this. 

  “Touché,” he agreed eventually. “It doesn’t matter. As they say, what’s done is done.”

  Alec scoffed. “Are we done? I need to bleach my brains of that image.”

  Magnus looked almost offended. 

  “I’ll let you unpack in peace then,” he mumbled, making a hasty exit. Alec almost felt bad for the way that’d come out. Almost.

  It wasn’t until a little later that Alec realised that he’d been so caught up staring into the boy’s beautiful eyes that he hadn’t noticed much else about the room. Or told him to call him Alec. In fact, his hand was still hanging from where Magnus had shook it. 

  _What is wrong with me today?_

  Glancing around the room, Alec noticed that one side was heavily decorated with books, artwork and candles. The other side was strikingly bare. It was an ugly contrast which made Alec cringe a little. 

  _Let’s fix this then._

  Alec dropped his bags on the empty bed, and went back into the hallway to collect his boxes. They were heavier then he remembered, and he suddenly missed Jace a lot. 

  _Seriously, Alec. It hasn’t even been five minutes._

  Alec started rummaging through the boxes once they’d all been brought in, putting away his things in random places. Clothes in the drawers obviously, but then CDs stacked in no particular order on the shelf. As he was putting them away, one particular CD caught his eye. 

  Glancing around, he noticed a CD player next to the TV. _I’m sure Magnus won’t mind, as long as I take the CD out_ , he rationalised with himself, before putting the CD in and cranking the volume a bit.

  Rock music filled the room, making Alec feel a lot more relaxed. Bopping slightly, because Alec really couldn’t dance, he continued putting away his things.

  “Magnus?” a voice suddenly spoke from behind him. He whirled around to be faced with a girl who looked as equally surprised to see him as he did her. Her red hair was draped around her shoulders in a deliberately messy style. Seriously, how many girls did this Magnus guy have?

  “You’re not Magnus,” she said plainly, squinting and tilting her head to the side a little. Because that would definitely help him look more like Magnus, right?

  “Obviously,” Alec replied curtly. People who stated the obvious really got on his nerves. He paused the CD.

  “Is he here? Like in the shower or anything?” she asked, peering around the room.

  “No, he left,” Alec said shortly. This girl irked him for some reason, though he couldn’t work out why. Maybe it was to do with the fact that the shower clearly wasn’t on.

  “Do you know when he’ll be back...?”

  “Alec. I’m Alec.”

  “Oh right! He did say he was getting a new roommate. That makes sense, because I was pretty sure he was still seeing Camil-”

  “Who are you?” Alec interrupted, patience running thin. Ramblers were annoying. This girl would get along well with Izzy’s boyfriend.

  “Oh, I’m Clary. I’m a friend of Magnus’s.”

  “I figured that. No I don’t know when he’ll be back. He just left,” Alec explained, folding his arms over his chest.

  “Weird.”

  “Have you tried calling him?”

  Clary’s face lit up. “Oh yeah, that would probably be a good idea wouldn’t it? I’ll do that. Thanks. See you around, Alec!” And she disappeared as quickly as she’d come.

  _Yeah... I’m not so sure about that._ Alec thought.

 

  After unpacking all of his things, Alec decided to go to the library. He didn’t particularly want to be around for any more awkward confrontations when Magnus got back. Besides, it was a good idea to go and see if the library had the textbooks he needed or whether he’d have to buy them. 

  However, when he got to the library it was closed. Alec checked the time. It was only 4 o’clock, why wasn’t the library open?

  “Luke is sick, apparently,” a voice answered his question as if he’d spoken it aloud. Alec turned around to see a short girl, with blond hair in a ponytail with a braid incorporated on the side. 

  “Luke?” was all Alec said.

  “The new librarian, Luke. He came down with gastro about a week ago according to the Student Service’s receptionist. I’ve been coming here everyday to see if he was back,” she explained.

  “Overdue books?” Alec inquired.

  The girl laughed. “No, I just wanted to see if they’ve got the textbooks I need.”

  Alec was astounded. “Seriously? Me too!”

  The girl smiled widely. “It’s nice to meet a like-minded person finally. So many students here are all about the “Ps get degrees!” motto. I don’t think a lot of third years have even picked up a textbook yet.”

  Alec chuckled a little. This girl, he liked. 

  “I’m Lydia, by the way,” she introduced herself.

  “Alec,” he returned. 

  “Nice to meet you! I would shake your hand but... well it’s not something I do really. I’m weird like that.”

  “It’s fine, I’d be scared I have sweaty palms anyway,” he half joked.

  “So, _Alec_ , did you wanna maybe grab a cup of coffee? Since the library is shut and has inconvenienced us both.”

  He thought about this. It might be nice to hang out with someone, kill time before he would inevitably have to go back to the dorm. To face Magnus. Who he may or may not find attractive. Which probably will make things awkward eventually. 

  “Yeah,” Alec nodded slowly. “Coffee would be good.”

  Lydia’s smile grew, if that was even possible. “Great! There’s a cute cafe just over near the social sciences building that I always go to, if you’re keen?”

  “Sounds good,” Alec replied. 

  Lydia linked arms with him, and they headed off together.

 

  Lydia was nice, Alec decided as he approached his dorm. They’d talked for hours; he found out she was studying a law degree, and was in her second year - same as Alec. She lived away from home, but was staying with friends off campus as opposed to in the dorms. She practically forced him to accept her Facebook friend request, however secretly he didn’t mind that much. Lydia was good people.

  “I’ll admit,” she’d said, “that when I asked you out for coffee I’d thought that perhaps you might like me. But now that we’ve talked properly, I can see that’s not the case.”

  “How can you tell?” Alec had asked.

  “Because clearly you’re about as straight as my parallel parking. Which is horrendously not so, by the way.” And she’d laughed about that for ages. When she noticed that Alec was blushing, she’d only cracked up more.

  Thinking back on it, Alec couldn’t help but laugh a little. He was very self conscious and guarded about his sexuality - mostly because if his parents ever found out they’d probably disown him. But it was very easy to forget all of that around Lydia. She was a very open person, and she brought out the more relaxed side of him. 

  However that relaxation could not last, as Alec prepared himself for more uncomfortable conversations with the attractive Magnus. He knocked on the door this time, but didn’t wait to be let in. This was still his place, he’d decided, and Magnus could get over himself.

  Magnus, as it turns out, was reading when Alec walked in. He looked up from his book and an interesting expression briefly passed across his features. Was that... excitement?

  “Alexander!” Magnus greeted him. “Nice to see you again. I decided to wait up before going to sleep because I figured we should talk.”

  A confused Alec checked the time. “It’s only 8:15?”

  “I have a very early start tomorrow and I need my nine hours beauty sleep. Not the point.” Magnus put down his book and walked over to Alec. “I wanted to apologise if I seemed... rude earlier. You just caught me by surprise, that’s all.”

  “Well that definitely makes two of us,” Alec muttered. 

  Magnus raised his eyebrows. “Yes, well. I shall refrain from bringing Camille in here if it’s going to be a disturbance to you.”

  “Oh, no that’s okay!” Alec rushed. “You don’t need to _stop_. Just maybe give me some warning so I can get out of your hair?”

  “Well we wouldn’t have stopped we would’ve just gone elsewhere but-” Magnus was giving too much information, he could tell, as Alec’s eyes glazed over a little. “Thank you, Alexander.”

  “Oh, it’s just Alec,” he corrected Magnus. He _remembered_ this time.

  “I know,” Magnus responded, cheerfully, taking Alec by surprise.

  “You know?” Alec echoed.

  “I know. It just said ‘Alec Lightwood’ in the email. I took a guess that Alexander is what it’s short for.”

  “No one ever calls me Alexander, not even my parents. Well they do, but very rarely,” Alex said, crossing his arms.

  Magnus stared at Alec’s arms for a moment, before taking a deep breath. “Well. Now someone does!”

  The urge to shower was taking over, and Alec’s gaze flickered to the bathroom very briefly, which Magnus noticed.

  “Right, I’ll get out of your way. I need my shut eye anyway.”

  Alec gave Magnus a small smile, before proceeding to the toilet. _And what am I going to do whilst you’re getting your_ beauty _sleep?_

“Oh, and Alec?” Magnus called just before he shut the door.

  “Yes?”

  “You left your CD in the player.”

  _Dammit._ “Sorry!”

  “It’s alright, just thought I’d let you know in case you couldn’t find it later. Goodnight, Alexander.”

  “Goodnight Magnus,” Alec said softly.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first pic posting to AO3 as well as my first overall Malec/Shadowhunters fic so feedback would be lovely! Especially on the characterisation - I've seen the TV series but I'm only part way through the books so it may be a little off idk
> 
> I'm hoping to be updating this at least once a week
> 
> Also come check me out on tumblr if you wish: @hearts-ofwar  
> :D


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus and Alec get to know each other a little better... though they may wish they hadn't

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who is sending their love - it means a lot that people like my story so much after one chapter!  
> Enjoy :)

  Three weeks had passed since Alec had moved into the dorms, and not much had changed between him and Magnus. They spoke to each other only when necessary, and this suited Alec fine. It wasn’t that he didn’t like Magnus - honestly, he didn’t have much of an opinion of him in general - but Magnus’ voice was so smooth and velvety and _nice_ that it was almost as distracting as living at home, which kind of defeated the purpose of the move. The less they spoke, the less material Alec had to fantasise with. Not that Alec was fantasising about Magnus. Not at all. 

  Of course, his voice wasn’t the only thing that was distracting. Alec had become fascinated with the way he moved, so floaty and confident yet not cocky. Sometimes Magnus would wear very low cut tops that exposed his chest more and Alec would have to look away so that Magnus wouldn’t see him blush.

  _Dammit I will not develop a crush on my roommate!_ Alec said to himself almost everyday, like a mantra. It did almost nothing to stop him from being distracted, but Alec felt better for saying it. Maybe if he said it enough times, he could believe it. 

 

  “I wanna meet him,” Lydia declared one day. She and Alec had messaged everyday, and caught up at least once a week since they’d met. Alec didn’t say a lot in messages, but Lydia didn’t seem to mind at all. She understood that he was a man of little words.

  “Who do you want to meet?” Alec asked, feigning confusion. They were having lunch off campus today, in a little mediterranean cafe near the beach.

  She gave him a look. “The roommate you’re totally in love with. Magnus, isn’t it?”

  “I am not in love with him!” Alec vehemently protested.

  “But you’re well on your way, aren’t you?” Lydia pushed, pointing a chip at him. “You suck at hiding it.”

  “I am not, nor will I ever be, in love with Magnus Bane.”

  “What? Sorry? I can’t hear you, your mouth moves but all I hear is wedding bells.”

  Alec threw a pea at her. “He has a girlfriend.”

  Lydia scoffed. “Temporary, I’ll bet. She sounds like a bitch. It’s only a matter of time before she cheats on him.”

  Alec couldn’t help but agree with her there. Camille treated Alec as if he didn’t exist, and Magnus as though he were a puppet she could play around with. But Alec could see that Magnus was head over heels for her, and it made him worried. 

  “How the hell am I going to arrange for you to meet him? ‘Hey Magnus, we never speak but like my friend knows all about you and she wants to meet you? Is this okay?’”

  “Don’t _arrange_ anything, silly. I will just coincidentally come by sometime when you’re there and he’s there,” Lydia explained.

  “That only happens when we’re asleep,” Alec pointed out.

  But Lydia was determined. “3am Macca’s run it is then.”

  “3am? Are you insane?”

  “Probably. We can work out the finer details later, I just thought I’d let you know that it’s going to happen someday.”

  “Not if I have anything to do with it,” Alec muttered.

  Lydia smiled mischievously. “Which is precisely why you won’t.”

 

  “I wanna meet him,” Isabelle proclaimed later that day, when Alec was talking to her on the phone. He was lying on top of his bed rather then in it, and had taken his shirt off because it was too hot. The air conditioning in the dorms wasn’t exactly fantastic.

  “Why?” Alec protested. _Why does everyone want to meet Magnus?_

  “Because you haven’t told me anything about him, which means you’re probably in love with him.”

  “Why does everyone think I’m in love with Magnus?”

  “Who else thinks you’re in love with Magnus?”

  “My friend, Lydia.”

  “You haven’t told me about her either!” Isabelle exclaimed in horror.

  “See? I haven’t told you about Lydia, and I haven’t told you about Magnus, because there isn’t much to tell, Izzy. It does not mean I’m in love with them!” Alec said, exasperated.

  “Well obviously you’re not in love with Lydia.”

  “I could be bi?” Alec pointed out, half heartedly.

  Isabelle only scoffed. “Yeah, right.”

  Alec sighed. How the hell did he end up in this mess? “You can meet Lydia. You’re not meeting Magnus.”

  “One day, though. One day.”

  Alec needed to change the topic, fast. “How’s Simon?”

  That was a mistake. Isabelle gushed for the next twenty minutes about his band, and how they’ve started getting a bigger fan base. She started to talk about how he’d been working out recently too, but Alec closed down that line of conversation pretty quickly. He did _not_ need to know the status of Simon’s abs and muscles.

  “Jace misses you,” Isabelle said suddenly.

  “He said that?” Alec asked, doubting.

  “Not in so many words, obviously. I mean, this is _Jace_. But I can tell. He hasn’t brought a girl home in two weeks, for one.”

  “Maybe he’s finally contracted some kinda STD from one of them. That’s what you get for sleeping with random girls, after all.”

  “ _Alec_ ,” Isabelle chastised.

  “Alright, alright, I’m sorry. Maybe he’s finally met a girl he actually likes for more than her boobs?”

  “Right. Because the chances of that happening aren’t one in a million or anything.”

  At that moment, Magnus came back into the dorm. He paused briefly as he took in the sight of Alec, lying on his bed shirtless. Alec caught Magnus looking, and rolled over before his blush became too obvious. 

  “Izzy, I’ve got to go now,” Alec said hastily before hanging up.

  “Hello,” Magnus greeted him. “You didn’t need to hang up on my account - if you want more privacy to talk to your sister I will happily wait outside.”

  “No, it’s fine,” Alec replied. “The conversation was pretty much done anyway.”

  He looked down at his bare chest, and blushed again because he could still feel Magnus watching him. He quickly sat up and reached into the drawer, pulling out a medium grey tank top.

  “Oh you don’t need to get all dressed up for _me_ ,” Magnus drawled. Alec ignored him, putting his shirt on.

  “By the way,” Magnus continued, “Camille is coming over tomorrow. You’re welcome to stay and watch but I gather that’s not your thing.”

  “I wonder what gave that away,” Alec said sarcastically.

  Magnus went very quiet then, so quiet that Alec could hear his footsteps as he walked over to lie on his bed. The springs on the mattress groaned with the extra weight.

  “You don’t like me very much, do you?” Magnus asked quietly. Alec turned around to see Magnus sitting on the bed, not lying on it, and he was staring at the bathroom door.

  “What makes you say that?” Alec queried.

  “You’re not denying it,” was Magnus’s deflated response.

  “Of course I’m denying it!” Alec spluttered. “I never said I wasn’t Magnus I just was-”

  “Alright, alright, no need to get defensive. You just don’t _seem_ to like me very much, that’s all. It’s been three weeks and the only thing I know about you is that you have a sister called Izzy-”

  “Actually her name is Isabelle,” Alec interrupted.

  Magnus waved a hand. “Whatever. And you have a large amount of CDs, most consisting of Green Day and Muse.”

  “What’s wrong with Green Day and Muse?”

  “ _Alexander_. That isn’t the point I’m trying to make. Please let me finish. What I mean is, we live together, but I don’t know anything about you. And since we never talk, I’m guessing you don’t know much about me either.”

  Alec knew quite a bit about Magnus, he suspected, but they were small things that might freak Magnus out if he knew that Alec had noticed.

  “I don’t even know what degree you’re studying, for God’s sake!” Magnus added, standing up and moving to lean against the wall. Alec liked the way he did that - slouching so that his hips were thrusted out into the room. Magnus’s top was not as low cut as he would like, however. There were plenty of sequins though.

  “You never asked?” Alec said, not sure of how to proceed. Clearly Magnus had things he wanted to get off his chest, and Alec didn’t want to put the conversation off track.

  “I never get the chance to ask, Alec, you’re never here! Every time I’m home you disappear off to the library or to see your friend or something. At first I thought that maybe you were just uncomfortable with conversation and meeting new people. But now I’m starting to feel like it’s something else.”

  Alec was so caught up in what Magnus had said that he completely missed that he’d called him by his preferred name. “I _am_ just really bad at meeting new people, Magnus. I’m sorry. I just... whenever we’re both here I feel that uncomfortable urge to talk to you but I don’t know how to do that and I don’t like just hanging around in dead silence. Leaving was the easier option.” _Also your voice is the best sound I’ve ever heard in my life and if I listen to it too much I might implode._

  Magnus was quiet for a long time after that, and Alec cringed on the inside. This was why he avoided being around Magnus for long periods of time. 

  “Okay... so why don’t we start with small stuff?” Magnus offered. “For example, I am studying a law degree. What are you studying?”

  “‘Sport, Health and Physical Activity’,” Alec replied somewhat reluctantly.

  “And what do you do for that?”

  “I honestly have no idea. Sport stuff, I guess.” This conversation felt a little too forced for Alec’s liking. 

  “Interesting,” Magnus mused.

  “Do you... like doing law?” Alec asked lamely, not knowing what else to say.

  Magnus shrugged. “It’s not like it’s easy. And it’s not interesting one hundred percent of the time. The amount of times I’ve barely scraped through a topic scares me.”

  “So why do you do it?” Alec was slightly curious now.

  “Because being a lawyer would mean I have the power to help people. Fight for those who truly deserve it, seek justice for those have been wronged. I’ve seen what happens when people use the law to justify their wrong doings, and I can’t just sit by and watch when I know that I might be able to do something about it.” Magnus looked as though he were a million miles away at that moment, and Alec could see that he visited that place in his mind often.

  Trying to lighten the mood he said, “so you’ll be a defense attorney then?”

  Magnus shot him a smirk at that. “Of course. Another reason to be a lawyer: the yearly salary isn’t half bad.” And at that, he winked.

  Alec chuckled. “It’s good that you have such a clear plan. I have no idea what I’m going to be doing with myself when I get out of here.”

  “How long is your degree?” Magnus asked.

  “Four years.”

  “Well it isn’t as if you haven’t got plenty of time to think about it,” Magnus pointed out.

  Alec nodded. He lifted his arms up to stretch, but at that moment he caught a whiff of his body odour and clamped his arms back down. Time to shower.

  “Ugh, I need to take a shower Magnus. I stink.”

  Magnus theatrically plugged his nose. “Are you sure? I couldn’t tell.”

  Alec threw a pillow at him and Magnus laughed, batting it away. “Alright, alright, I’m sorry. Go use up all the hot water already.”

  “I do not use up all the hot water!” Alec protested.

  “You do,” Magnus said, serious now. “I hadn’t said anything because we were on weird enough terms as it was but you do. I always have to squeeze in the shower before you in the morning because otherwise there is just nothing left.”

  Alec scowled. “Are we being really honest with each other now?”

  “No reason not to. We live together, after all.”

  “Fine then! You make weird noises in your sleep.”

  “It sounds like a cat I know, I’ve been told,” Magnus admits before continuing, “You leave your beard trimmer plugged in with the power switched on.”

  “I keep finding sequins from your shirts all over my clean clothes after the washing has been done,” Alec fired back.

  “You fold your shirts weirdly!”

  “You _don’t_ fold your shirts!” This was actually kind of fun. Alec realised how much he’d been bottling up about Magnus’ habits over the last few weeks, and the fact that he was able to get them out now without offending him was good.

  “You put the seat down!” Magnus kept firing.

  “It’s a habit - Isabelle would’ve killed me long ago if I didn’t,” Alec explained. “I don’t like how you finish the toilet paper but don’t put a new roll on.”

  “ _I_ don’t like how late you stay up yapping to your friends!”

  “I don’t like how your friends just randomly barge in without knocking!”

  “Yes, alright that is a slight problem - a bad habit that needs to be addressed,” Magnus agreed. “But I don’t like how you come home for five minutes, only to realise I’m here and so you leave again.”

  “You already said that,” Alec accused. “Um... oh! It frustrates me how you seem to leave cat hair over everything but we don’t have a cat in here.”

  “That you know of.” Magnus winked. “You leave at odd hours of the night for snacks. We have food in the mini fridge!”

  “You leave glitter covering _everything_!”

  “You leave your CDs in the player even when you tell me you won’t!”

  “I don’t like Camille!” 

  _Shit._ Trust Alec to make it personal. That hadn’t meant to come out, it’d just slipped. Magnus’s face darkened, telling Alec exactly how he felt. Immediately, he tried to take it back. “Magnus- I... I didn’t mean-”

  “You meant it. You wouldn’t have said it if you didn’t mean it,” Magnus sighed. “It’s fine - you don’t have to like her. At any rate, I think we both got a bit carried away there.”

  “Magnus- I’m sorry. It shouldn’t have come out like that,” Alec apologised profusely. 

  “Go take a shower, Alec.”

  The way Magnus said his name killed Alec inside. He couldn’t even be happy that he’d called him ‘Alec’ - the way it’d been said was so defeated, uncaring almost. Nothing like the way Magnus had said his name before. _Alexander_. He didn’t notice the amount of affection with which Magnus pronounced his name until it was no longer there. Alec wanted to fix things so badly but he had no idea how, so he got up from his bed silently and went to have his shower.

 

  When Alec was finished he half expected Magnus to be gone - maybe to seek comfort from Camille herself - so he was rather surprised to see Magnus sitting on his bed, reading a book. He’d looked up briefly as Alec had slid the bathroom door open, but went back to his book so quick that Alec was unsure that he _had_ looked. Alec wordlessly walked over to his bed, taking his pyjamas out of the drawer and keeping his back to Magnus.

  “Why don’t you like her?” Magnus asked quietly, so quiet Alec almost thought he’d imagined it. But when he turned to look at Magnus, he was watching him, waiting for an answer.

  Alec sighed. _I am_ not _jealous. I’m not._ “I’m not sure really. It’s just something about her-”

  “You don’t even _know_ her,” Magnus said venomously. 

  “I know that!” Alec shot back, defensive now. “I know that Magnus, but she... she...”

  “She _what_?”

  “She treats you like a puppet! A toy, something she can play around with for a while but will inevitably get bored of,” Alec replied.

  “I _love_ her. And she loves me.” Was all Magnus said, his voice like ice.

  “Magnus that’s not love in her eyes when she looks at you,” Alec said sympathetically.

  “Then what is it then, huh? What would you even know? Have you ever been in love, Alexander? Do you know how it feels? Because I feel it. I feel it when I’m with Camille.”

  “She looks satisfied when she’s with you,” Alec continued, ignoring Magnus’s comment about his lack of a love life. “She looks at you as though you’ll do for now, but the minute something better comes along she’ll drop you quicker then a topic. You may love her, Magnus, I’m not denying that. But I don’t think she loves you anywhere near as much as you think she does.”

  Magnus glared at him, about to reply with something nasty Alec was sure, but at that moment a quiet knock sounded on the door. Both men turned as the door opened a little.

  “Magnus?” Clary peered around the door, checking he was there before she stepped into the room. 

  “Are you ready to go?” She asked. At that moment, she noticed the looks on Magnus and Alec’s faces. “Oh shit sorry, is this a bad time? Should I come back later?”

  “Yes,” Alec said firmly.

  “No!” Magnus quickly followed. “No, no. Now is fine, biscuit. Our conversation is done anyway.”

  “Magnus...” Alec started.

  “I’ll see you later, Alexander,” was Magnus’s cold reply. He didn’t even look at Alec once as he grabbed a jacket and swiftly ushered Clary out of the room.

  _I have screwed up so bad._

  Alec didn’t even notice he was crying until he felt a couple of tears roll down his cheeks. Wiping them away, he frantically dialed Lydia’s number.

  “ _Hi, you’ve missed Lydia Branwell. Leave a message._ ” Her phone went straight to voicemail, and Alec hung up immediately. He was not leaving a message on her phone. Briefly, Alec considered calling Isabelle or Jace, but he decided it was too much of a hassle. They would make a big deal out of it, which wasn’t what he wanted.

  Having no better ideas, Alec grabbed a notepad and pen from the desk, and scribbled down a message. Tearing it out, he placed it on Magnus’s pillow for him to find when he came home.

  Alec flopped back on his bed, curling into a ball and clutching his pillow tight as he let sleep take over.

  _I am not developing a crush on my roommate, and I am not jealous of his girlfriend._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really don't even know what happened here - I started out with a rough idea and then it all kind of exploded into this. I hope you don't all hate me! It's only chapter 2 after all ;)
> 
> Come find me on Tumblr @hearts-ofwar :D


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's O'Week! Lydia convinces Alec to join in the activities

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for the support so far! It's tremendously encouraging!
> 
> A quick reference note: O'Week stands for Orientation Week, which usually occurs a week before the Uni semester begins to introduce new students to University.
> 
> Hope you all enjoy the chapter!

  When Alec woke up the next morning, Magnus was not there. His bed was still made, and Alec’s messy, tear soaked note was still on the pillow. Groggily, Alec crawled out of bed and went over to inspect the disaster. His eyes ran over the note he’d written, and he was instantly filled with regret. Quickly, he snatched it up and stuffed it in his pyjama drawer. Notes written after midnight shouldn’t be seen by anyone, since Alec generally lost his brain-to-mouth filter at that time. He drifted into the bathroom to check up on the horror that was his reflection, and was greeted with a puffy eyed monster. He hated how obvious it was when he’d been crying, even the tiniest bit.

  Just at that moment, Alec heard the dorm door open. Someone took a few steps, paused briefly, and then continued into the room. 

  _It must be Magnus_ , Alec thought. Unable to help himself, he peered around the bathroom doorway and saw the back of a shirtless man with black and purple hair. Alec blushed as he admired the hard lines of muscle on his back and across his shoulders. _Magnus._

  It was then that Alec was hit with a wave of terror. He couldn’t face Magnus, not now. Magnus didn’t need to see the evidence of his ill-managed emotions. And he definitely didn’t want a repeat of what happened last night. Alec didn’t even want to remember it. He wanted to lock it away in a dark corner of his mind, never to be thought of again.

  But Alec couldn’t forget what happened, and more importantly, he didn’t want it to come between him and his roommate. They were going to have to face each other eventually - they lived together for God’s sake! Alec wanted- no. He _needed_ to apologise. It had to be done, and _then_ they could go back to their life of briefly speaking but in other words general avoidance. 

  However, just as he had summoned enough courage to face Magnus, Alec heard the door click shut. He stepped out of the bathroom and was met with an empty dorm. Magnus had gone.

  _You could run after him_ , a traitorous voice in his head whispered. Alec shut that idea down instantly. There was no way he was chasing Magnus Bane.

 

  “Alec come on, you have to get out of here sometime,” Lydia pestered. She had come over with McDonald’s, trying to bribe Alec into leaving the dorm. 

  He had stayed there for three days, waiting for Magnus to come back. He hadn’t. When he’d popped in the other day, he must have taken some spare clothes with him.

  “I don’t. Watch me,” Alec mumbled, snatching the bag from her returning to his previous fetal position on the bed.

  “Pleeaassee? The rest of the universe is boring as hell without you,” Lydia whined. 

  “No. There’s nothing to do out there anyway!” Alec protested.

  “I can guarantee you that there’s a lot more happening outside in the world then there is in this tiny room. Besides, it’s O’Week! There’s a ton of shit happening on campus right now!” 

  Alec stuffed chips in his face. 

  “We’re not in first year,” he said, with a mouth full of food. “We don’t have to go.”

  “Of course we don’t _have_ to go, but it’s fun! There’s a bouncy castle and free fairy floss and everything!”

  “And millions and millions of stalls trying to convince you to join their club or political party.”

  “Exactly!” Lydia exclaimed. “Fun!”

  “No!” Alec said again, turning away from her and pulling his hoodie over his face.

  Lydia sighed. “I didn’t want to do this but you’ve given me no choice.”

  Alec turned back over and eyed her warily. She had grabbed his phone from the bedside table, and was dialing someone. “Didn’t want to have to do what?”

  “I didn’t want to have to call Isabelle, but-”

  Alec snatched his phone back from her. “Oh hell no. You are not calling my sister!”

  “Fine I’m not calling her. But she has Facebook too, Alec. One little friend request and-”

  “Alright, alright! We will go to O’Week!” Alec grumbled in defeat.

  “Excellent!” Lydia cheered, clapping her hands. 

  “I hate you,” Alec muttered.

  “No you don’t,” Lydia said, unfazed. “You’ll thank me for this. Maybe not now, but one day.”

  Alec answered by throwing a pillow at her.

 

  And so that’s how, later that day, Alec found himself holding two fairy floss sticks as Lydia bounced on the bouncy castle. She had tried to drag him on, but he pointed out that someone needed to hold the fairy floss. Though Lydia had been annoyed - “We can just eat it and _then_ go on the castle, Alec!” - she had eventually conceded and kicked off her shoes.

  “Alright, time’s up!” The castle manager called out. Lydia climbed down, her usually perfect hair all frizzy and messed up.

  “You might want to fix your hair,” Alec told her, handing over her fairy floss.

  “Nah,” Lydia decided. “What now?”

  “I don’t know, you’re the one who dragged me out here,” Alec grumbled. 

  Lydia fixed him with a glare. “You might want to start enjoying yourself more, Alec. I can still give Isabelle a call.”

  “I don’t know what I want to do, Lyd!” Alec cried. “I just feel like shit right now.”

  Her gaze softened. “Alec... what you said needed to be said. He needed to know.”

  “I know that, logically. But you didn’t see his face... it was like I’d kicked a puppy.”

  Lydia patted his arm sympathetically, before a realisation hit her. 

  “I know what you need!” She exclaimed, grabbing his arm and dragging him away from the bouncy castle.

  “Hey, slow down would you!” Alec protested. Lydia continued on, a determined expression now set on her features. Before he knew it, Alec was being dragged through an abundance of stalls and people. They stopped suddenly in front of one very brightly coloured stall, the rainbow flags giving away it’s purpose. ‘The Institute’s LGBTI Society’.

  “Hi there!” a high spirited girl greeted them. “Are you guys interested in signing up?”

  “I’m not really, but he is!” Lydia gestured to Alec.

  “What are you doing?” He hissed. “I’m not out yet!”

  “Oh that doesn’t matter,” the girl had overheard. “We understand that not everyone is comfortable to be out yet. No one asks about your sexuality or makes any assumptions, I promise!”

  “You need to meet more people,” Lydia explained. “You’re cooped up in your own little world and it’s not healthy!”

  “I’m not in my own little world! I have you, and I have my siblings, and I have...” Alec trailed off. He was going to say that he had Magnus, but he wasn’t sure anymore. He hadn’t seen him in three days.

  “That’s what - five people? You need more friends then just me, Alec.”

  “Lydia, I can’t. My parents can’t know I’m... you know,” He gestured helplessly.

  “We have support groups if that’s something you’re interested in,” the girl offered.

  “No, no I don’t need any support,” Alec said. “I’m fine with who I am, it’s just my parents... they don’t know and they wouldn’t be okay with it. I’m also bad at mixing with other people really.”

  “Alec. In case you didn’t notice, you don’t live at home anymore. You won’t need to explain to them where you’re going or who you’re going out with. Joining an LGBTI society wouldn’t end your life,” Lydia pointed out.

  “We have mixed social nights?” The girl offered another option. “Our members are taken and randomly split into about three or four groups, and each group does something fun and hangs out! No one knows each other, so you’d be in the same boat as everyone else.”

  Alec had to admit that... didn’t sound too bad.

  “What kind of stuff would you guys do on these nights?” He asked.

  “It can be anything, really. Pub crawls, clubbing, bowling, hiking - I think we even went ice skating once! Oh wait, Allison and Renae both fractured their wrists when we did that so I don’t think we’re allowed to anymore... but you get the idea. It’s fun! In fact...” She pulled out her phone and scrolled through it for a moment. “Yep, I was right, we have one coming up in a couple of weeks!”

  “Alec,” Lydia said to him. “You need to go! No one is going to know anyone so it’s not like you’ll be left out or anything!”

  Admittedly, he was very tempted. 

  “Alright,” he decided eventually. “But only if you sign up as well. Then at least there’s a chance we’ll end up in the same group.”

  Lydia looked at the girl. “Is that alright?”

  “Sure it is!” The girl said enthusiastically. “We’re an open society and accept everyone no matter what your orientation is. And like I said, no one asks so if you don’t tell, they won’t even know.”

  Lydia nodded. “I guess we’re in!”

  “I guess so,” Alec agreed.

  “Excellent! I just need you to write down your name, email address and student ID number here...”

 

  Alec was exhausted, climbing up the stairs to the dorm. After signing up to the campus LGBTI society, Lydia had dragged him to every other stall and attempted to guilt him into joining them. Other then the campus archery club, he’d refused them all. Coming up with different ways to politely decline each one was difficult.

  Alec was expecting that he’d be faced with another empty night in the dorm, so he hadn’t bothered knocking as he entered. What he wasn’t expecting, however, was Magnus. 

  Magnus, who was sitting on Alec’s bed. Magnus, who looked up as Alec entered and had smudged eyeliner running down his face. Magnus, who’s shirt’s sequins didn’t seem glimmer as brightly.

  “Magnus?” Alec asked cautiously.

  “Alexander,” Magnus replied in a hoarse voice. He got off of Alec’s bed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know when you’d be back so I decided to wait for you here.”

  “It’s fine, Magnus, sit back down.” Alec hadn’t realised that he’d frozen where he was, door half opened with one foot in and one foot out. Hurriedly, he stepped into the room properly and closed the door. Unsure of what to do, he stood by the edge of the bed with his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “Are... are you okay?  
  “Do I _look_ okay?” Magnus asked, incredulously.

  “Yeah, alright, you have a point,” Alec allowed, looking down awkwardly. “Sorry.”

  Magnus just sniffed some more. 

  _Jesus, I have no idea what I’m doing._

  “Can I ask what happened or do you not want to talk about it?” Alec asked cautiously.

  “I broke up with Camille,” Magnus admitted in a flat, defeated tone.

  Alec was shocked. He hadn’t expected this. “It wasn’t... you didn’t do it because of what I said did you?”

  “No, no, I didn’t. Though you were right. God I was such an _idiot_.”

  “Magnus, you may be many things, but you are _not_ an idiot,” Alec said firmly, sitting beside him on the bed.

  “I sure as hell _feel_ like an idiot. How could you, a person who I haven’t even known for a month yet, see what I couldn’t?”

  Alec knew that Magnus didn’t mean that in an insulting way and he tried his hardest not to take it as such.

  “Can I ask... What made you...?” Alec trailed off, unsure of how to phrase the question.

  “What made me realise that she was a complete bitch?” Magnus laughed bitterly. “She cheated on me.”

  Alec had to bite down the urge to say _I told you so._ “How did you find out?”

  “I interrupted them.” Magnus was holding back sobs now. “I’d been staying with her since we... Since the thing happened. But today, I’d gone to hang out with Clary and make the most of the free food at O’Week. I came back earlier then she’d anticipated apparently.”

  “Did you... know who it was?” Alec asked delicately.

  “A Russian exchange student I’d seen her talking to a few times. But God, Alec, I was so blind, I didn’t ever _dream_ that she’d- that she’d-” Magnus was lost in a flurry of hiccups and sobs then.

  “Hey, it’s _not_ your fault,” Alec said, trying to comfort him a little. “Just because- well. It shouldn’t have happened. You don’t deserve to be treated like that. You deserve _so_ much better, Magnus.”

  “She didn’t even try and excuse it, or anything!” Magnus spluttered, angry now. “I was standing there, shellshocked, and all she said was ‘wanna join us?’ before proceeding to make out with him some more!”

  Alec was horrified. 

  “And she was so calm as I yelled at her,” Magnus continued. “She didn’t even flinch when I said we were over, or that I never wanted to see her again. She just smiled and went back to riding the Russian!”

  That was more information then Alec needed, and he tried not to wince. “So Camille is a bitch. This is out in the open now. _She doesn’t deserve your tears, Magnus._ ”

  Magnus sniffed a little, and then stopped, breathing deeply. “You’re right. You’re always right, Alexander.”

  “I’m not so sure about that,” Alec laughed half-heartedly. 

  “It sure as hell seems like it,” Magnus mumbled, resting his head on the other man’s shoulder. Alec tensed up at this, unsure what to do now. His breath quickened, and he suddenly became very focused on what his hands were doing in his lap.

  Magnus sighed. “When it happened... all I could think about is that I wanted to talk to you. I don’t know why, I thought I was still angry at you. But when I left her room... I scrolled frantically through the contacts on my phone before realising that I don’t actually have your phone number. So I came here, hoping you were home. When you weren’t I decided to wait on your bed.”

  Alec went very still. Magnus didn’t notice - or if he did, he didn’t care. 

  “I feel better now that you’re here, Alexander,” Magnus admitted, softly. “I can’t explain it.”

  This was too much for Alec. If he stayed like this any longer, he’d do something they would both regret. 

  “You don’t have my number, huh?” he said, shifting away from Magnus slightly. Alec tried to pretend that he didn’t see Magnus’s face fall a little before he recovered.

  “It would seem not,” Magnus replied.

  “Let’s fix that, shall we?” Alec offered, holding out his hand. Magnus reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, handing it to Alec. Alec tried to ignore the shiver that went through him as Magnus’s fingers lightly brushed his. He gave Magnus his phone as well.

  Alec quickly put his name and number into Magnus’s contacts, and Magnus did the same. When Alec got his phone back, he noticed that Magnus had put his name in with a winky face emoji next to it. He looked up to ask why Magnus had done that, when he noticed that Magnus was frantically typing into his _own_ phone.

  “What are you doing?” Alec asked.

  Magnus held up his phone as an answer. He had changed Alec’s name from ‘Alec’ to ‘Alexander’.

  “Seriously?” Alec complained.

  “It’s your name _Alexander_ , you should get used to it,” Magnus teased.

  Alec lightly hit his arm at that, and Magnus retaliated by hitting him back. Soon enough, it had escalated to a tackling war, and Alec pounced on Magnus. Magnus was trying to tickle Alec, but Alec had him pinned to the bed with his arms and legs trapped. At some point, Magnus had stopped try to tickle him, and they were just staring at each other panting for breath. Alec’s gaze dropped to Magnus’s stomach, and he saw that his shirt was riding up just a little bit. His knees buckled a bit at the sight of skin.

  It was at this moment, when Alec was at his weakest, that Magnus decided to flip them over so Alec was pinned underneath.

  “I win,” Magnus declared in a low voice.

  Alec went breathless at the sound. Magnus, pinning him there... it did things to his imagination that Alec thought were impossible. The shock of it brought Alec back to reality, and suddenly he was scrambling to get out of Magnus’s grip.

  “Alright, alright, you win, let me up,” Alec protested weakly. Magnus laughed, and let Alec go, sitting back on his knees. 

  “That was interesting,” Magnus observed.

  “Your hair is all...” Alec gestured with his hands, out of breath and unable to use words.

  “Eh,” Magnus brushed it off, grinning widely. That smile caused knots to form in Alec’s stomach, and he fell back onto the pillows with a groan. Magnus laughed. 

  “Well I’m going to take a shower in which I will probably remember everything that has happened today and break down and start crying again. Do _not_ under any circumstances come in and try and comfort me,” Magnus warned.

  Alec’s heart twinged. “Magnus...”

  “No!” Magnus stopped him. “Camille and I broke up. I thought I loved her. This is normal.”

  Alec sighed. “Should I do anything?”

  Magnus thought for a bit. “You can get me some ice cream? That’s what girls in romantic comedies do - they eat their feelings. I think they drink them too but I don’t want to put you under the responsibility of caring for a drunk Magnus.”

  Alec rolled his eyes, but stood up and grabbed his keys. “Sure thing.”

  Magnus’s face brightened instantly. “Fabulous!” And he pretty much skipped into the bathroom.

  Alec did not think that Magnus was handling the break up well at all. One minute he was all doom and gloom, the next he was practically bouncing off the walls. His emotions were spiraling out of control faster then a spinning top.

  _As long as he doesn’t sink into some sort of depression_ , Alec reasoned, _I think I can handle it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope Magnus's moods about the break up didn't feel too unrealistic there?
> 
> This chapter was written really quickly I must say! It's definitely getting a lot easier, and all your lovely comments are quite encouraging!
> 
> As always, you can find me on tumblr @hearts-ofwar :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The semester has begun! Alec starts classes, and spends some time with family and friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, sorry it's been a little while since my last update! I've been feeling a little sick lately :(
> 
> The timeline of this chapter isn't as straight forward as the others... it starts on the first day in the first week of the semester, then jumps to a few days later, and then to an entire week later. Sorry. I hope it's easy to follow! 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy! :D

“Alexander,” a lovely voice called, trying to draw Alec out of his sleep. “Alexander.”

  _Go away,_ Alec thought drowsily, snuggling back into his pillows.

  “I don’t plan on going away, Alexander,” the voice said, amused now. Alec must’ve said that aloud. “You have a lecture that starts in half an hour.”

  That got Alec’s attention.

  “Shit!” Alec flailed, sitting up instantly and glancing at the clock.

  A chuckle emanated from the end of the bed, and Alec looked over to see Magnus standing there with his arms crossed and a smirk on his face.

  “I thought you might appreciate not missing your first lecture for the year?” He stated, looking entirely too pleased with himself. Alec threw a pillow at him, hoping to wipe that smirk off his face. It didn’t work.

  “Now, now, none of that,” Magnus tutted, waving his finger at Alec. “You should be thanking me. I made you coffee!”

  Magnus brought over a mug from the counter. Alec cautiously took it and had a sip. Instantly, he gulped down the rest of it. It was _good_.

  “Did you seriously make this?” Alec asked in disbelief.

  Magnus snorted, raising his hand to his heart. “You wound me, Alexander. What makes you think I wouldn’t be able to make a decent cup of coffee?” 

  “Statistics. I gathered data from everything else I know about you and made a likely conclusion.”

  “Now I’m offended,” Magnus said, taking back the empty mug. “I’ll have you know that I used to work as a barista, thank you!”

  Alec rolled his eyes. “Fine! I’m sorry I ever doubted you.”

  “You will be,” Magnus promised, a glint in his eye. He looked at the clock again. “Twenty-five minutes.”

  Alec grumbled and got out of bed.

 

  Alec made a mental note to add those lectures to the ‘not worth attending’ list. He just wasn’t able to concentrate in them - both the lecturer _and_ the topic were boring as hell. Not to mention that his mind kept wandering over to a certain roommate who’d been wearing a particularly _nice_ pair of tights this morning. Not that Alec had noticed.

  At that moment, Alec was drawn out of his Magnus drooling because a red-haired girl had run into him, knocking his books to the floor.

  “Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” The girl exclaimed, bending down to pick up the books for him. Alec frowned. He knew that voice.

  “It’s fine,” he said warily. The girl stood up and handed him the books, and he realised that it was none other then Magnus’s annoying friend, Clary.

  “Oh, Alec!” She realised at the same time. “Hey!”

  “Hi,” Alec replied in a less impressed tone.

  “I’m sorry about that,” she apologised again. “I really wasn’t looking.”

  “Clearly,” Alec sighed. “It’s fine, really.”

  Clary’s face brightened with an idea. “Hey, maybe I can buy you a coffee to make it up to you?”

  What was it with girls wanting to buy him coffee? First Lydia, now Clary.

  “Thanks, but I’ll pass,” Alec refused politely. “Magnus already made me coffee this morning.”

  “Oh, I see! I totally understand that, no one can match his skills. His coffee really is the that best _I’ve_ ever had. Unfortunately, I depend one the stuff too much to always wait for him to make me some.” She laughed a little to herself.

  Alec gave a small, polite smile.

  “Hey, why I don’t I walk you to your next class? You must want someone to talk to, surely!? Uni can get lonely, it’s good to have friends!” Clary cheerfully offered.

  _I don’t remember us being friends exactly... and I’m pretty sure I don’t get lonely._

  But Alec knew that if he blew her off, Magnus would hear about it. Chances were, he was going to hear about this anyway. And he really didn’t want to fight with Magnus _again_. They had only just started being friends.

  “Yeah, sounds good,” Alec agreed, trying his hardest to sound happy. Clary smiled widely at him, her entire face lit up with joy. 

  After asking where his next class was, she set off in that direction chatting animatedly while Alec trailed after her, slightly less enthused but trying his hardest to appear interested.

 

  “So apparently you ran into Clary today,” Magnus said a few minutes after Alec had come home.

  Magnus hadn’t had any classes today apparently, and so he’d taken the opportunity to clean the dorm. Alec’s washing was left neatly folded on his bed, which surprised him since Magnus never folded his _own_ clothes.

  “You folded my washing?” Alec asked, a little shocked.

  “Don’t look so surprised,” Magnus replied. “It would be rude of me to not take into account the way you prefer your things kept.”

  “I just didn’t think you cared that much is all,” Alec explained. 

  Magnus shrugged. “You. Clary. Today.”

  “Oh... yeah,” Alec said lamely. He began to put his washing away, trying to appear distracted.

  “What happened?” Magnus asked.

  “It’s like you said. Except she ran into me, not me into her. Quite literally, too.”

  “Oh no,” Magnus replied, his tone suddenly wary. “I know _that_ tone.”

  Alec whirled around, and was faced with a small scowl on Magnus’s face.

  “What’s wrong with Clary?” Magnus demanded.

  “Nothing’s wrong with Clary. She’s fine!” Alec denied.

  Magnus gave him an accusing look.

  “No- really! She’s alright. I don’t have anything against her.” Alec spun back around and continued with putting his washing away.

  He heard Magnus’s footsteps walking closer, and the mattress creak as he sat on his bed.

  “Alec, if you’re going to keep lying to me about your feelings towards my friends...”

  “Dammit, Magnus,” Alec sighed, defeated. “It’s not that I don’t like her. I don’t know her well enough to make that decision.”

  “You did with Camille.”

  “Camille was... Camille. Bitchiness radiated off of her.”

  Magnus snorted.

  “I guess... Clary’s a little annoying? She’s so bouncy and chattery and I just haven’t ever had someone like that in my life before, you know?” Alec admitted.

  Magnus was quiet. Alec didn’t dare say anything - he sensed their friendship was on edge as it was.

  “Clary... has had a difficult life,” Magnus said, finally. “She’s been through so much... it’s a wonder she’s stayed as bright and cheerful as she has.”

  “Magnus...”

  “No, it’s okay. I understand that for someone who doesn’t know her, Clary can be a bit... full on. Especially someone like you. I guess it’s never something I’ve thought about. Clary is... Clary.”

  “What do you mean, someone like me?” Alec queried, slightly worried.

  “I didn’t mean it in a bad way, Alexander, don’t panic. I just meant- you know, someone introverted and- and a little socially awkward, that’s all.”

  Alec relaxed. Magnus was still calling him Alexander, so whatever his opinions were he wasn’t mad at him. 

  Red flags went up in Alec’s mind at that. When had Magnus calling him ‘Alexander _’_ started being comforting? He hated that name.

  “It’s not my place to tell you about what Clary’s been through,” Magnus continued, completely oblivious to Alec’s minor internal crisis. “But just know that it wasn’t easy. And it wasn’t fair. By no means should she have had to go through what she did. For her to come out of it still managing to hold a smile is remarkable.”

  Alec didn’t know what to say. “I’ll... I’ll be nicer to her then, I guess.”

  “Well don’t do it out of pity,” Magnus warned. “Because she’ll smell you coming a mile away. Just don’t judge her or push her away because you’re... you.”

  Alec looked at Magnus. He was deep in thought, looking out the window. When Alec sat opposite him on the bed, his attention shifted back to the present.

  “You do that a lot,” Alec told him.

  “Do what?” Magnus asked, slightly confused.

  “Look off somewhere far away. You get so lost in your own head,” Alec replied.

  Magnus looked down, unable to meet Alec’s gaze. “I guess I just start remembering things and I lose track.”

  Alec gave him a smile when he looked back up. “It happens. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

  Magnus smiled broadly in return. 

 

  Later that week, Alec decided to visit his family. He hadn’t spoken to them in almost a month - well, except for Isabelle, who called him frequently.

  “You’re staying for dinner, aren’t you?” Maryse asked when he walked through the door.

  Alec shrugged. “I don’t have any other plans.”

  Maryse responded by smiling and hugging him.

  “Alec!” a voice cried out in joy. Alec turned around to see his younger brother, Max, racing towards him at full speed. 

  “Hey Max!” Alec greeted him. Max barreled into him and Alec picked him up in a giant hug. “How’ve you been, kiddo?”

  “Good,” Max replied, his joy at seeing his big brother splashed all over his face. Alec set him back on the ground. “You’ve missed a lot here.”

  “I expect a full report,” Alec said in a mock-serious tone. “Don’t leave anything out!”

  Max grinned, and broke out into a full-length description of everything everyone had been doing since he moved out. They headed down towards the kitchen.

  “Jace has been complaining that there’s no one to play Xbox with anymore. I tell him that I could play, but he says Mum would kill him if she caught me playing his games,” Max said, clearly disappointed at the idea. They sat at the table, Alec grabbing a mandarin out of the fruit bowl on the way and starting to peel it.

  “And he’s right,” Maryse said from the kitchen counter as she began pulling food out of the fridge for dinner. “Max you are far to young to be playing games about stealing cars and shooting people. You’ve got lots of other games there to play. What about _Crash Bandicoot_?”

  “I’ve finished that like a hundred times, Mum,” Max complained.

  “Maybe you should try changing the difficulty levels from ‘easy’ to something a bit harder,” Jace advised, walking into the room. 

  Alec stopped peeling the mandarin to give Jace a hug. 

  “Hey man,” Jace greeted him affectionately. “How come you always call Iz, but not me?”

  “I _don’t_ call Izzy, Izzy calls me,” Alec pointed out, exasperated.

  “And she runs up the phone bill doing it,” Maryse put in.

  “You too, could pick up a phone,” Alec continued, ignoring his mother.

  Jace waved him off. “I’m just surprised Izzy has so much to say.”

  Alec gave him a look. “Are you kidding? It’s _Izzy_.”

  “Okay fine,” Jace backtracked. “I’m more surprised that you’re _interested_ in what she has to say.”

  “Alec doesn’t have much of a life, so he must live vicariously through me,” Isabelle chimed in, emerging from some far corner of the house.

  “You wouldn’t know if I had a life, you never give me a chance to tell you about it!” Alec spluttered.

  “Alec you never had a life while you were here; I don’t think that’s going to have changed in one month,” Jace added, stealing a piece of Alec’s mandarin.

  “For God’s sake, I have a life! I’ve been home all of five minutes and you guys are already ganging up on me? Seriously?”

  “Alright, alright, that’s enough. Jace, Isabelle stop antagonising your brother. He might never come home again if this is how you treat him when he’s here,” Maryse said calmly.

  “I’m happy you’re here, Alec,” Max said innocently.

  “And I’m happy I’m here too buddy,” Alec replied, ruffling Max’s hair a little.

  Jace scoffed, and Alec glared at him.

  “Isabelle, come help me make dinner,” Maryse ordered.

  Jace, Alec and Max all exchanged horrified glances.

  “Mum, _no_ ,” Jace said. 

  “I won’t be able to come back if I get poisoned the first time I’m here, Mum,” Alec added.

  “Izzy can’t cook Mum, we’ll all die!” Max concluded.

  “Hey! I’m right here,” Isabelle objected.

  Maryse simply rolled her eyes. “I’ll watch her don’t worry. She’s not in charge of anything technical.”

  Alec didn’t find that very reassuring.

 

  Robert Lightwood came home later that evening just in time for dinner. No one told him that Isabelle had been involved in preparing the food. Maryse had tasted it herself before serving and declared it edible, so they didn’t bother worrying him with details.

  “How are your studies going?” Alec’s father asked after dinner. They were all sitting in the lounge room with the X Factor on TV, not that anyone was really watching it.

  “It’s only been a week, Robert,” Maryse pointed out.

  “They’re fine,” Alec replied. “Uni’s great.”

  “Good to hear,” Robert said.

  “Getting along with your roommate alright?” Maryse asked.

  Isabelle let out a short laugh, though she coughed to cover it up. Alec glared at her.

  “Yeah, he’s cool. He makes good coffee, I found out earlier this week.”

  Jace muttered “awww” under his breath, and Alec had to resist the urge to punch him. He was _not_ going to be outed to his parents by his unrestrained siblings and their mockery of his life.

  “Ugh, why would they let her through, she can’t even sing!” Max whined at the TV, blissfully unaware of the embarrassingly awkward situation Alec had found himself in.

  “Max,” Maryse chastised. “That’s not nice.”

  “She was pretty bad,” Jace agreed, standing up for Max.

  Maryse sighed.

  “Met any girls you like?” Robert pressed on. The room went quiet.

  “Subtle, Dad,” Isabelle muttered.

  “It’s only the first week of the semester, for God’s sake Robert,” Maryse said, exasperated. “What is this, the Spanish Inquisition?”

  “He’s been living on campus for a month though, Maryse,” Robert explained his reasoning. “Surely he must’ve met people.”

  “Not really, Dad, I don’t exactly leave the dorm much. Only to see my friend Lydia,” Alec responded, sick of his parents arguing.

  “I _knew_ you didn’t have a life!” Jace exclaimed, trying to change the subject for Alec’s sake.

  “Is she nice?” his father continued, ignoring Jace.

  “Yes, she’s nice but in a friend way? Not a girlfriend way.”

  Robert sighed. “Alec you’re nearly twenty. It’s not normal for you to have never had a girlfriend at this age.”

  Rage bottled up inside of Alec. _Isn’t a parent supposed to just_ know _when their child is gay?_ He wanted to scream. But he couldn’t, not like this. As much as the girlfriend talk frustrated Alec, the thought of them knowing who he liked... it _terrified_ him. He could see the looks of judgement, disappointment and revulsion on their faces. He knew that he’d have to come out one day. It was either that, or they’d figure it out on their own which somehow seemed worse. 

  Actually, no - the worst case scenario would be them finding out from someone _else_. Like Jace, or Isabelle. Alec knew that they’d never intentionally betray him, but Isabelle and Jace were two of the worst liars Alec had ever known.

  “Dad, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Alec isn’t exactly _warm_ and _fuzzy_. He’s shy. He’ll get there when he gets there,” Isabelle said firmly. Robert just grunted in response.

  “ _Thank you_ ”, Alec mouthed to her. She nodded.

  “We’ve got your back, bro,” Jace whispered so that no one else could hear, patting him on the shoulder.

 

  “Are you excited?” Lydia asked, and from her tone Alec could tell that _she_ was.

  “More nervous then anything else,” Alec replied, sandwiching the phone between his shoulder and his ear so that he could put on his pants.

  “You better be wearing something _nice_ , not just a black top and hoodie like you usually do.” 

  Tonight was the first LGBTI society social night, the one that Lydia and Alec had signed up for back in O’Week. Alec was nervous as hell, and he prayed that Lydia had been placed in the same group as him. The problem was, the members of each group were a secret, so neither Alec nor Lydia had any idea whether they’d be seeing each other tonight. However, Alec had had a brainwave.

  “Where are you supposed to meet your group?” He asked, hoping his very hardest that Lydia was meeting her group outside the Alicante Tavern, like he was.

  “I’m not telling you until you swear not to wear the same clothes that you always wear,” Lydia said firmly. Guiltily, Alec shoved his chosen outfit back in the drawers and searched for something else.

  “Fine. I’m finding something nice as we speak!” _If such a thing exists in my wardrobe_. “Where are you meeting your group?”

  “The Old Idris Jail. Probably a ghost tour or something.”

  Alec’s heart sank. “Oh no, no no.”  
  “I’m guessing that’s _not_ where you’re meeting your group?” Lydia said, though they both knew that she already knew the answer to that. Alec didn’t even bother replying.

  He sat on his bed. “Nope, I’m not doing this. I’m not going.”

  “ _Alec_. You have to go! Meet some new people!” Lydia encouraged.

  “No, I can’t do this on my own, that’s a deal breaker right there,” Alec replied, shaking his head furiously.

  “You already knew that there was a strong chance that we might not be in the same group, Alec. Besides, it’s only this time. Next time we might be!”

  “Lydia, I _can’t_.”

  “You’re just happily having a breakdown in front of Magnus there, are you?” 

  “Magnus isn’t here,” Alec told her.

  “Where is he? He should be there, celebrating your big night with you!”

  “He’s gone to Clary’s. I didn’t tell him what I was doing tonight, I just said I was going out and that I’d probably be late home.”

  “Damn it, Alec. You _need_ to meet some new people. No one is going to know anyone anyway, for God’s sake. You agreed to this, you sure as hell are _not_ backing out now,” Lydia said sternly.

  Alec took a deep breath, and tried to escape the feelings of nausea and complete repulsion that had begun to build inside him so that he could think.

  Meeting at the Alicante Tavern meant that there was probably going to be drinking at some point tonight. Alec supposed he could drink and get tipsy - or even drunk - so that he wouldn’t freak out so much. After all, Isabelle often told him to drink when he was being especially nervous and jumpy.

  As much as Alec hated to rely on alcohol to solve his problems, it seemed like the best way to go. It meant that he had a safety net if things got too hard. And Lydia would just be overjoyed that he went, he didn’t have to tell her that he was planning to be hiding and drinking for most of the night.

  “Alright,” he decided finally. “I’m going.”

  He had to hold the phone away from his ear so that he wasn’t deafened by her squeal of delight.

  “Yay!” She cheered. “Now, what are you wearing?”

  “Lydia, I’m not having phone sex with you,” Alec teased as he searched. 

  “Ha ha,” she replied sarcastically.

 

  Alec approached the Idris Tavern apprehensively. He could see a group of people hanging around out the front, wearing shirts that read ‘Institute University LGBTI Society Pub Crawl’ on them. Alec knew that he’d found his group. A small amount excitement stirred inside him - a pub crawl meant that Alec wouldn’t be alone in his drinking, meaning he would appear less unsociable.

  “Alec!” An excited voice called out. Alec searched for the source of the voice, to see a girl waving at him holding a bunch of t-shirts. As he walked towards her, he realised that she was the girl who’d signed him up at O’Week.

  “Hi,” he greeted her nervously.

  “Oh right, you totally don’t even know my name! I’m Aline,” she said, holding all the shirts in one hand so that she could use the other to shake Alec’s.

  Aline gestured to the girl beside her. “This is my girlfriend, Heather.”

  Alec and Heather nodded to each other in greeting, and he felt a bit jealous. Aline got to have her girlfriend here, but Alec couldn’t have Lydia?

  “Oh, and you’ll be needing this!” Aline handed him a shirt. It was one of the pub crawl shirts everyone was wearing.

  It was a little disappointing, as Alec had carefully selected a dark purple top that Isabelle had given him for his birthday last year - which he’d never worn until now. Tonight had seemed like the best occasion. 

  However he didn’t want to stand out, and he knew that the shirts were a good idea in case someone got separated from the group. Wordlessly, he shrugged out of his chosen shirt and put on the new one.

  Aline let out a low whistle when Alec took his shirt off. “Man, are there some people I want to introduce you to!”

  Alec blushed, unsure of what to say. 

  Aline continued to hand out shirts to newcomers, and soon Alec became engulfed in a crowd. There were around twenty people in this group, and Alec couldn’t see anyone who wasn’t already talking to someone. He worked his way out to the edge of the crowd so that he wasn’t in everyone’s way.

  He’d just begun to list off the reasons why this had been a horrible idea when a smooth, velvety voice rose up from behind him and interrupted his thoughts.

  “ _Alexander_?” it said, sounding shocked.

  Alec knew that voice anywhere. He spun around and was faced with one very attractive man, who was wearing tight jeans held in place by a rainbow belt. He was wearing the same official top as everyone else, but in his hand he held something purple and silky. Probably the top he’d been wearing before. His eyeliner was dark and bold, gold glitter covering his eyelids, and his hair had blue highlights that seemed to dance around his natural black colour. Alec had never seen anything more beautiful in his life, and it turned his stomach in knots the more he stared. The shock of seeing him had sent a jolt to his heart, and Alec wasn’t sure it’d ever restart.

  “ _Magnus_?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully this isn't feeling rushed to any of you guys... sometimes in my impatience I can get a little carried away and end up missing a bunch of stuff that I could've added.
> 
> The more I go the more I seem to be mashing the story between the TV show canon and the book canon (I'm on book five now, hurrah!) so hopefully that isn't too confusing!
> 
> I was going to put the pub crawl in this chapter but it would've a) felt a tad rushed to me and b) made the word count wayyyyy over any of the others. It was already a little bigger then normal!  
> I want to drag this story out a bit I think, because I'm evil like that ;)
> 
> As always, you can find me on tumblr @hearts-ofwar :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pub Crawl time!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so first of all I really want to thank everyone who is commenting because your comments are so lovely and really encouraging!! ^_^  
> Also I'm celebrating over 100 kudos and over 1000 hits here :D Thank you everyone!!
> 
> The anticipated pub crawl is here! This is definitely my longest chapter yet (over 2000 words bigger then usual?) because I just had a lot to say and I really wanted to give it all to you guys. I really hope it's worth it :)

  “ _Magnus?_ ” Alec was flabbergasted. What the hell was _Magnus_ doing here?

  To his credit, Magnus appeared to be as shocked as Alec. They must have looked complete idiots to anyone else, but Alec wasn’t even thinking about anyone else right now. All that was running through his mind was _Magnus is here_. _Magnus is here_. 

  _Why is Magnus_ here _?_

  “What are you doing here?” Magnus recovered first. Alec had to pick his jaw off the floor to reply. He must’ve looked so stupid just gaping at Magnus like that, he realised, and he blushed.

  “What am _I_ doing here? What are _you_ doing here? You said you were going to Clary’s!” Alec spluttered in response.

  “To get _ready_ , darling. She’s at one of these things too - I think her group has gone bowling or something. Not the point. I just did not expect to see _you_ here!”

  Alec crossed his arms. He didn’t think he’d have to ever point this out to Magnus, but then Alec hadn’t expected to ever see him here. “I’m gay, Magnus.”

  Magnus rolled his eyes. “Well yes, I figured _that_ darling.” 

  Alec was shocked for the second time that night. “You _knew_?”

  “I mean, not for certain until you told me just now, but I highly suspected.”

  Alec was unable to form a coherent sentence, his emotions a mixture of anger, shock and embarrassment. “You- you... wha- _how_?”

  Magnus ignored this. “I just didn’t expect to see you here because, well, you’re _you_. Self conscious, unable-to-talk-to-people, freaks-out-easily _you_.”

  Annoyance won out in the battle of the emotions going on in Alec’s head. “I do _not_ freak out easily.”

  “Alexander, we’re not having this kind of argument again,” Magnus chuckled, waving his hands around as he spoke. “You do. Can you honestly tell me that you didn’t have a minor panic attack before coming here?”

  Alec looked away briefly as he responded: “Maybe.”

  Magnus’s gaze softened. “For what it’s worth, I’m proud of you.”

  Alec gulped. Was it getting hot out here? “I only came because Lydia made me, really.”

  “Well obviously some part of you wanted to come because otherwise you wouldn’t be here.”

  “Maybe I just wanted the alcohol,” Alec suggested.

  That made Magnus laugh properly. “I never imagined you to be one who’d drink!”

  “Why’s that?”

  “You are quite uptight!” Magnus said nonchalantly.

  “ _Magnus_!” Alec heard Aline call out from the crowd somewhere. Magnus disappeared to find her. Not knowing what else to do, Alec followed him. Weaving his way through the bustling students, he caught up to find them exchanging a hug.

  “How’ve you been, darling?” Magnus asked her.

  “Fantastic!” She grinned, before she spotted Alec.

  “Oh, Alec!” She said quite loudly. “Here’s someone I wanted to introduce you to! This is Magnus Bane.”

  Magnus burst out laughing, and even Alec had trouble holding back a chuckle and a smile. Aline looked between them, furrowing her brow in confusion. 

  “What’s so funny?” She demanded.

  Magnus managed to briefly stop laughing to explain. “Aline. Alexander and I know each other already; he’s my roommate!”  
  Realisation dawned and Aline’s lips formed a perfect ‘o’. 

  “Oh my god, you’re _that_ Alexander. Shit, I didn’t even realise!” She raked her eyes over Alec’s body, before turning to Magnus. “Well, well, well. Now I _totally_ understand what you-”

  Magnus clamped a hand over her mouth. “Aline, darling. Too much, too soon?” He whispered something Alec couldn’t hear, which made Aline roll her eyes but she nodded her head and Magnus let her go.

  Alec’s head was whirling. All of this back and forth was getting to him, not to mention he was really wondering what the hell _that_ was all about. He needed a drink, pronto.

  “Aline, when do we start drinking?” He asked.

  “Umm,” She trailed off, sticking her head above the crowd. She appeared to be counting. When she finished, she gave Heather the thumbs up.

  “Everyone’s here so we’ll probably get going in about five minutes,” she answered Alec. 

  Alec nodded, rubbing his arms. The nerves were coming back. _When did they leave?_

  As Alec was glancing around the crowd, he came to realise that Magnus was staring at him.

  “What?” He challenged.

  Magnus shook his head, as if Alec’s question had snapped him out of a daze. Alec immediately felt bad. Magnus probably hadn’t been staring _at_ him, just... staring.

  “Don’t panic, Alexander,” Magnus said before Alec had a chance to apologise. “I can see how worried you’re getting. Just stick with me tonight, alright? You’ll be fine.”

  Alec gave Magnus a smile, and in return Magnus put a hand on his arm. As Alec was about to thank him, he heard Aline’s voice calling for everyone to shut up. He turned around to see that Heather was standing on a chair trying to get everyone’s attention.

  “Hey, the quicker you all shut it, the quicker we can start drinking, alright?” Heather called. Everyone laughed, but otherwise went silent.

  “There are a few rules before we start tonight. The places that are letting us in free are printed on the back of your shirts. We’ve already organised tonight with them, so you _have_ to go. There’s a free drink for everyone wearing this shirt at each place - if you want more after that, you’ve got to pay for it. Likewise if you want to go into anywhere else, you’ll need to pay for that too. There are seven places letting us in tonight, and they’ll be keeping record of who goes in and gets their drink so you will _not_ be able to double dip. 

  “Now, you all need to have a buddy. No one is allowed to go wondering off on there own, getting super smashed and dying on the curb somewhere, alright? You’ll need to let either myself or Aline know who your buddy is, because we’ll be calling everyone tomorrow sometime to make sure you all got home safe. Not because we care about you, obviously, but because the Institute will have our heads if anyone dies and our funding will get revoked.”

  Laughter erupted amongst the crowd at that.

  Heather continued when it died down a bit. “Best way this usually works is if we all stick in a big group - so if we follow each other from place to place, we’ll all be fine. What’s the most important rule though, guys?”

  “Have fun!” Everyone answered.

  “No!” Heather yelled. “Idiots, the most important rule is _don’t die_! Come on, let’s all head inside and get our first freebies!”

  The crowd cheered, and everyone slowly started shuffling into the Tavern. 

  Magnus leaned into Alec so that he could be heard clearly. “Whataya say, be my buddy?”

  The hairs on the back of Alec’s neck were standing on end as he felt Magnus’s breath on his skin. For the love of God, why did Alec have to start blushing every time Magnus got anywhere near him? 

  Alec nodded, not wanting to trust his voice. Magnus patted him on the back and went off to find Aline. Alec watched as he informed her of their choice. She rolled her eyes, saying something and then winking at him before he walked back over to Alec. 

  Magnus was shaking his head. “She’s infuriating.”

  “How so?” Alec asked.

  “Little things. She meddles too much sometimes,” Magnus sighed. “But tonight is for having fun! What do you say, shall we get our first drinks?”

  “Sounds like an excellent plan,” Alec agreed enthusiastically.

  They wandered into the Tavern, but almost everyone had already made their way in so there was a bit of a queue. Magnus tried to make conversation while they were waiting.

  “How much are you planning to drink?” He asked.

  Alec shrugged. “Well we have to get at least one drink everywhere so I dare say quite a bit.”

  “Touché,” Magnus allowed. “I’ll probably only be tipsy myself - I hold my liquor rather well I think.”

  “Depends what drinks you get though,” Alec pointed out.

  “It does, it does. Maybe I’m feeling fancy tonight. Who knows?”

  Alec gave him a look. “Magnus, you’re always feeling fancy.”

  “Quite right!”

  The queue was moving rather quickly actually, and in no time Magnus and Alec had reached the front.

  “Names?” the bartender asked.

  “Magnus Bane and Alec Lightwood,” Magnus responded. The bartender ticked them off a list.

  “What can I get you?” He asked.

  Magnus looked at Alec. “Beer?”

  “Yeah,” Alec replied.

  “Two beers,” Magnus told the bartender, who nodded and started filling two glasses.

  “I didn’t think beer would be fancy enough for you,” Alec teased.

  “Gotta start small, darling. Don’t worry, this is the only beer I’ll be drinking tonight.”

  Taking their drinks from the bartender, Magnus and Alec were then faced with the prospect of finding somewhere to sit. Eventually, Magnus pointed out a table filled with other students, and managed to drag a somewhat reluctant Alec over to sit with them.

  “Magnus!” Several of them cheered as he approached.

  “Friends!” He declared, sitting on a seat beside a girl with short purple hair. Alec sat on the other side of Magnus.

  “Who’s your cute buddy?” One guy asked.

  Alec, who had been sipping his drink, almost choked at that description. 

  “Everyone, this is Alec. Alec, everyone,” Magnus introduced them, gesturing to the table of people. Alec gave a small wave, and went back to his drink.

  “He’s new to the Society,” Magnus added. 

  “You a bit nervous?” The purple haired girl asked. 

  Alec nodded. 

  “It’s fine, we’ve all been there. Everyone is really lovely. Besides, we’ll all be smashed soon enough so there’s nothing to worry about!”

  Magnus rolled his eyes. “Emma, darling, I’m not entirely sure everyone here is planning to get smashed.”

  Alec was planning to get a little smashed, but he didn’t really feel like sharing that yet.

  Most of the questions that followed that were focused on Magnus. How he’d been, how school was going, how things with Camille were... That had been a sensitive topic. In fact, that was the one time Alec voluntarily spoke. He saw a dark expression cross over Magnus’s features, and he decided to change the topic.

  “So you all seem to know each other pretty well,” Alec said randomly. Magnus shot him a grateful look.

  “Oh yeah, most of us have been going to these things for a couple years now,” the purple haired girl - Emma, Alec remembered her name was - explained. “I think there are various new people around but they’ve sort of found each other.” 

  “It’s probably only because your buddies with Magnus that you’ve ended up over here,” some other guy added. “Most people are too intimidated to come talk to us.”

  “I don’t know why they would be,” another person chimed in. “We’re nice! I think?”

  “Hey, looks like everyone is heading out,” Emma observed. “We should probably follow.”

  Alec turned in his seat to see that she was right - various purple shirted students had started to slowly move out of the Tavern. 

  Everyone at the table stood up, and followed them. Magnus waited for Alec, who had deliberately waited until last to go.

  “Where to next?” Alec asked.

  “Let me see the back of your shirt,” Magnus responded. Alec complied. “I think the next place down the street from here is The Wandering Goose.”

  “ _The Wandering Goose_?” Alec double checked he’d heard right.

  “Yes. It’s a club,” Magnus confirmed.

 

  Alec had been expecting a gay club, but it was just a normal one. The Wandering Goose had a line stretching out the front that started before they got anywhere near it. 

  “It’s the newest club in the city,” Magnus explained. “Everyone’s dying to check it out.”

  Knowing that left Alec feeling quite satisfied as they were allowed to skip the queue and head straight in.

  “I’ll get our drinks,” Magnus offered.

  The idea of being left alone with Magnus’s friends terrified Alec. “No! I’ll get them!”

  Magnus smiled sweetly. “You sure?”

  “You got the last ones, it’s my turn,” Alec reasoned.

  Magnus shrugged, and gave Alec his drink order.

  After giving their names to the bartender, Alec ordered another beer for himself and a tequila on the rocks for Magnus.

  When Alec returned holding his beer, Magnus frowned. 

  “Alexander, you better not be drinking beers all night,” he threatened, taking his drink. “You won’t have any fun!”

  “I can have fun only drinking beers,” Alec protested.

  “You need to loosen up, Alec.” Magnus using his preferred name impressed upon Alec just how serious Magnus was being. “Experiment a little!”

  Alec shuddered at the idea. 

  “Alec,” Magnus put his hand on Alec’s shoulder, giving him a very determined stare. “You’re so cooped up in your own little box there. Being in university is about trying new things!”

  Whether it was the proximity of Magnus or the two beers that made Alec’s tongue choose that moment to loosen, he would never know. 

  “I’m scared, Magnus,” he admitted.

  Magnus’s gaze softened. “Being scared is okay, Alexander. It’s normal. But you’ve got to look past that. Take a plunge!”

  Alec trembled a little.

  “If I have to get you drunk so that you’ll actually start enjoying yourself, I will,” Magnus threatened very seriously. “I don’t want to coerce you that way, but so help me I will if you leave me no other options.”

  “I’m probably going to get drunk anyway,” Alec admitted without meaning too. _Dammit, time to shut up now!_

  Magnus grinned.

  “I like this plan. Emma!” he called out to his friend, who was grinding with some guy on the dance floor. “We need to get Alec drunk!”

  Emma disconnected herself from the guy, and weaved her way over to them. She took one look at Alec, before addressing Magnus.

  “I’m totally down with that plan,” she declared.

  “First step,” Magnus decided. “I’m buying you a shot.”

  “You can’t just wait until we move to the next place?” Alec protested weakly.

  “No,” both Magnus and Emma said at the same time.

  “I’ll get the shot. Emma, find him someone to dance with,” Magnus continued.

  A determined look crossed Emma’s face, and she nodded. Grabbing Alec’s hand, she pulled him into the sea of people on the dance floor.

  “I haven’t drunk enough to be okay with this yet!” Alec objected.

  “Get drunk on the music first!” Emma advised. “Just start dancing, people will gravitate toward you.”

  “I can’t dance!” Alec whined, but Emma wouldn’t take no for an answer. She grabbed his hands and started twisting him. Alec awkwardly started shuffling his feet around on the floor and put his hands above his head, since that was what everyone else was doing. He tried to dance like that, but he was unable to lose himself in it the way Emma seemed to. Rather then move towards him, people seemed to move out of his way.

  “Find the rhythm of the music,” a low voice said in his ear. Alec turned around half expecting to see Magnus, but it wasn’t. It was Magnus’s friend who had called him cute earlier. Not knowing what else to do, Alec turned back around.

  “Close your eyes and focus on the beat,” the guy continued, his voice deep and throaty in Alec’s ear. “Find that and just start swinging your hips to it. The rest will follow.”

  If for no other reason than to not look like an idiot, Alec followed his instructions. Closing his eyes, he listened to the music and started moving. He raised his hands above his head again, but it felt more natural now. Alec stayed focused on the music, moving around without really noticing what he was doing. He broke out of it, however, when he felt someone pressing against his back. He didn’t want to turn around and ruin it though; it felt good.

  “God, you look amazing when you relax.” 

  It was the same guy who’d helped him figure how to dance. 

  “I’m Raj, by the way,” he continued.

  “Alec,” Alec replied, and he was surprised to find his voice was a little breathy.

  “I know,” Raj chuckled, before grinding against Alec a little. It felt so _good_.

  “Alexander!” The sound of Magnus calling him snapped Alec out of whatever dance haze he’d gotten himself into. He stopped dancing and looked around for Magnus. Raj made a little disappointed sound, but didn’t verbally object.

  Alec spotted Magnus and walked over to meet him. He was holding two shot glasses.

  “Here,” Magnus offered one to Alec. “On the count of three?”

   On three, they both downed the liquor. It burned down Alec’s throat, and he coughed a little.

  “Hey, it looks like everyone is leaving now,” Raj interrupted.

  “Right, we should follow them,” Magnus agreed. Was it Alec’s imagination or was Magnus _glaring_ at Raj? He blinked, but Magnus wasn’t even looking at him. It must’ve been the alcohol.

  “What _was_ that in my drink?” Alec asked as they left.

  Magnus grinned. “That, Alexander, was vodka.”

 

  The next place on the agenda was Purple. Alec had heard of this one; it was a gay bar. Isabelle was frequently trying to convince him to go, but Alec was stubborn. Of course now, he didn’t have a choice.

  Since Alec had agreed to let Magnus and Emma get him drunk, Alec was no longer in charge of deciding what drinks he had. Of course, he would always go to the bar with them - you couldn’t be too careful. Even though he trusted Magnus a great deal, he just felt better knowing what was in his drink, even if it was something he’d never heard of.

  This time, Magnus ordered him a cocktail. It was bright blue which kind of freaked him out a little, but drinking it was quite pleasant. It didn’t burn as much as the vodka had, though it did leave him feeling a bit numb. His mind was beginning to feel rather buzzed. 

  Magnus tried to convince him to make out with a random guy, but Alec was by no means ready for _that_ yet.

 

  After Purple came the Sirdi Hotel. There, Magnus ordered him another shot but this time it contained tequila. 

  “I’m keeping it simple for you, darling,” Magnus explained when Alec had asked him why he was sticking to such plain drinks. “There’s no point in me trying to impress you with fancy things if you’re not going to remember it in the morning.”

  _Did Magnus say_ impress _?_ Alec’s alcohol fuddled brain was losing track of what was real and what he was imagining. 

  _Magnus is looking really pretty tonight_ , Alec thought.

  “Why thank you, Alexander,” Magnus said, with a smirk on his face. 

  Alec was confused. Did he say that out loud?

  Magnus started laughing, when Alec heard a voice.

  “ _Alec_?”

  Alec turned around, trying his hardest not to fall over whilst doing do. 

  “Oh, _hey_ Simon!” Alec yelled, probably a little too loud since Simon was _right_ _there_. “Why’re you here?”

  “My band was performing here tonight. We just finished!”

  “Oh _that’s_ what the bad music was,” Alec realised, his words slurring together the tiniest bit.

  “Are you... drunk?” Simon asked, a little confused and worried.

  “Not yet I don’t think!” He pointed to Magnus. “That’s Magnus. He’s try’na get me drunk.”

  Simon looked really worried now. Why did he look so worried? 

  “Should I call Izzy?” Simon offered.

  “No!” Alec shook his head furiously. “Do _not_ call Izzy, under any circum... cirum... cir...” Crap, what was that word? “Just don’t call her. I’m _fine_. Magnus is takin’ care o’ me!”

  At that moment, Magnus intervened. He took Simon aside and spoke to him for a few moments. Simon nodded, and gave Alec a wave before disappearing.

  “Wha’d you say t’ him?” Alec asked.

  “I’ll tell you later,” Magnus decided, patting him on the back. “Next venue?”

 

  The next venue was a place Magnus hadn’t been to before either, a club called Strawberries and Cream. However as they entered, both Alec and Magnus were surprised by the _type_ of club that they’d walked into.

  Strawberries and Cream was apparently a strip club. Alec noticed that Magnus actually looked a little annoyed.

  “Whaz wrong?” He asked.

  Magnus sighed. “Damn Aline. I should’ve known she’d do something like this. She probably thinks it’s absolutely hilarious!”

  Alec was confused. It was just a strip club, it wasn’t that big of a deal. But then, Alec was almost drunk. Had he been sober, Alec probably would’ve turned and run away as soon as he realised what it was.

  They were greeted by a topless guy holding a menu - a menu of men - who offered them a table. Magnus politely declined, and turned to leave.

  “Mags!” Alec stopped him, tugging on his arm. “We gotta get our drinks!”

  Magnus swore, but conceded. They went over to the bar, and ordered a shot for Alec. He missed what Magnus ordered for himself. 

  As soon as Alec had downed the shot, Magnus dragged him out of the club, only haven taken two sips of his own drink.

 

  It was at Rainbow Parade, another gay bar, that Alec came to the conclusion that he was definitely drunk. The world had begun to spin, and he was _definitely_ losing track of when he spoke aloud and when he was only thinking.

  “Do you usually speak about yourself in the third person?” Magnus teased. Alec frowned. Clearly it was worse then he thought.

  Alec was ashamed that it’d taken him being drunk to really let himself appreciate _just_ how gorgeous Magnus really was looking tonight. Or even in general. Magnus was always beautiful. Tonight though, the eyeliner really highlighted his eyes and _god_ did he look sexy wearing it. Alec wanted to ravish him on the spot. 

  “I wanna dance, Mags,” Alec declared, slurring heavily now. 

  “Alexander, darling, I don’t think you can walk straight let alone dance,” Magnus pointed out.

  “Dance wi’ me Magnus! _Please_?” Alec whined.

  Magnus groaned. “Fine, but only to keep you from falling over and embarrassing yourself. One day when you’re sober, I’ll dance with you properly.”

  Alec clapped his hands joyfully like a child, and dragged Magnus into the middle of the room. Or rather, he tried to. Of course, he ended up tripping over his own feet instead. Luckily, Magnus caught him. 

  It was if they were waltzing and just dipped really low. Their faces were so close together that Alec was seriously considering kissing Magnus. Those lips looked _really_ kissable, and Alec couldn’t find a reason not to. His breath had left him. Magnus’s eyes were wide, and was it his imagination or was Magnus leaning forward slightly?

  Suddenly, however, Magnus pulled him back to his feet and moved away. He still kept an arm on Alec to steady him, but Alec had the impression that Magnus didn’t want to be very close to him at that moment. It must’ve been Alec’s imagination.

  “I think we should move to the last place and then get you home,” Magnus decided. “Otherwise you’ll end up injuring yourself.”

 

  C.C.’s bar was the last official stop for the pub crawl. Alec noticed that he, Magnus and Emma were the first students to have made it that far. So much for sticking together in a big group.

  Magnus handed him a glass of a clear liquid. Alec expected vodka, but when he drank it, there was no burn.

  “ _Water_?” He asked, incredulous.

  “Alexander you’ve had quite enough alcohol, I think. You’re drunk. Mission accomplished!” Magnus justified.

  Pouting, Alec chugged the rest of the water down. 

  _The lights in here are making Magnus’s hair sparkle_.

  Magnus frowned. “Emma, watch him please? I’m going to get some more water.”

  _Don’t leave_! Alec thought hazily. He was beginning to feel quite sluggish, actually. The world wasn’t spinning so much as slowly down. Blinking drowsily, he looked over to where Magnus was getting his drink.

  Where Magnus was _supposed_ to be getting his drink. Instead, Magnus appeared to be in a lip lock with a pretty blonde.

  _That’s... Magnus wouldn’t..._ Alec blinked, but it was real. Magnus was kissing a random girl.

  It was if someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over him. Alec felt clammy, and couldn’t breathe. He needed to leave, now.

  He was vaguely aware of Emma calling out to him, but he didn’t care. She was probably in on it. It was all a joke, wasn’t it? Get him drunk, show him a good time, just so that his heart could be pounded and his night ruined by Magnus kissing someone else.

  Alec couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

  The only problem was, once Alec got outside, he wasn’t sure where to go. He started walking back the way they’d come - he _thought_. He was still drunk, even if he was seeing a little clearer now. 

  The streets seemed to get dark suddenly, and Alec realised that this probably was _not_ the way home. He turned back around to go back to the main street, when he was suddenly faced with three guys.

  They had devious looks on their faces, and the blood drained from Alec’s face. He turned around to run, but he wasn’t fast enough; one of them hit him, which knocked him to the floor. A sharp pain shot up from Alec’s leg. _Fuck, why did I have to get drunk?_

  “You look like you’ve had some fun,” the boy said darkly. “Faggots shouldn’t have fun. You should all hide away and die.”

  _Oh crap_.

  “We don’t wanna see your ugly faces kissing each other. It’s disgusting!” Another guy said.

  “Unnatural,” the other echoed.

  “You faggots should crawl back into the holes you fucking came from,” the guy who’d hit Alec spat.

  “Teach him a lesson, Sebastian!” One of the called.

  “I think I will,” the one who’d hit him - Sebastian - sneered. He gave Alec a sharp kick to the stomach, which had him crying out in pain. 

  “You filthy bastards need to learn to stay away. Society doesn’t want you, you perverts!”

  The other two joined in then. They continued to hurt him, both physically and verbally, giving him several kicks to the stomach and groin.

  Alec was sobbing as the world started to fade away, black dots swarming his vision.

  _Someone please make it stop_.

 

  “Alexander? Alexander!” 

  This velvety voice really needed to stop dragging Alec away from his dreams. 

  “Oh my god, Alexander, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, please wake up!” The voice was sounding quite panicked. Alec was confused. He tried to open his eyes, but realised that that was actually quite difficult. He managed to open them a bit.

  The room was blindingly white. Alec wanted to shield his eyes from brightness, but as he raised his arm to do that he noticed something was attached to his arm. An IV drip?

  “Alec,” the voice - which Alec now matched up to Magnus - sighed in relief.

  “Magnus?” Alec asked, but soon decided that was a bad idea.

  “Shh, don’t speak darling. I can see that it hurts,” Magnus hushed.

  Alec ignored him. “Wha h’ppn’d?” Speaking was more of a problem then he liked.

  “You’re in a hospital.” More confusion from Alec. 

  “You don’t remember?”

  He shook his head, which he soon realised was a mistake. Pain shot up from his neck, and he winced.

  “You, uh, got beat up. Pretty badly,” Magnus said quietly.

  Several blurry images flashed into Alec’s mind. He whimpered a little at the memories of the pain.

  “Are you alright?” Magnus gushed immediately, a panicked look on his face as he looked for the source of Alec’s pain.

  “I‘m just remem’ring a bit,” he mumbled.

  A sad look came across Magnus’s face. “Alexander... I’m so sorry this happened to you. I should never have left you like that.”

  “Damn straight you shouldn’t have. What’s the point in a buddy system if you don’t _stay_ _together_? Idiot,” another voice grumbled.

  Alec swung his head over to seen who was at the end of the bed. It was Aline.

  “I was only getting him a drink,” Magnus muttered. “Emma was watching him.”

  “Emma was drunk too, Magnus,” Aline stressed.

  “I’ll admit it wasn’t my finest moment, okay?”

  Aline sighed, and fixed Alec was an accusing glare. “I would’ve thought you’d be more sensible then to wander off on your own.”

  “‘Mm sorry,” Alec mumbled.

  “I really don’t think you should be laying into him right now,” Magnus said to her in a hard voice. “He’s suffered enough, hasn’t he?”

  Aline rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah I know. For what it’s worth Alec, I _am_ sorry this happened to you. It’s just a little frustrating because The Institute is making a big deal over it.”

  “A’ least ‘m not dead,” Alec pointed out.

  Aline chuckled, nodding. “Yeah, alright, I’ll give you that.”

  “Alexander, darling, you really shouldn’t be making jokes like that right now,” Magnus scolded lightly.

  “Oh give him a break, Bane. I think the fact that he’s joking is a good sign,” Aline said. “Anyways, I should probably head off now that you’re awake. Gotta give The Institute a full report blah blah all that nonsense. Feel better, Alec.”

  She gave him a small smile as she left the room. Soon after, another memory flashed into Alec’s mind. He turned to look at Magnus, scowling a little.

  “You were... making out with a girl,” he accused, narrowing his eyes.

  Magnus half laughed, but there was no humor. “Is _that_ why you left the bar?”

  Alec decided that silence was the best conveyor of his answer to that.

  “Alexander, she kissed _me_. She was trying to get some guys off her back. I pushed her away! ... But I guess you didn’t see that part.”

  Alec’s lips pressed into a thin line. “No.”

  He felt like an _idiot_.

  Unfortunately at that moment, Isabelle rushed in. 

  “Oh my god, Alec! Are you okay?” She exclaimed, sounding really worried. 

  Alec gave her as much of an _are you kidding?_ look as he could muster.

  “He’s quite bruised and he’s got a broken leg but other then that he’s intact,” Magnus told her. “The doctors said it looks a lot worse than it is. He’ll be physically fine in about six weeks.”

  Alec glanced at Magnus as he said ‘physically’. Magnus met his gaze with a sorrowful look. 

  “I’ll leave you two alone,” Magnus announced. “I think visiting hours for anyone but family are up anyway.” He briefly squeezed Alec’s hand, and left the room.

 

  Early the next day, the doctor’s decided Alec was free to go home - with a set of crutches and a cast on his leg, of course. Luckily (or was it unlucky?) for Alec, he’d broken his leg before so getting used to the crutches was easy.

  Magnus offered to carry Alec up the stairs to their dorm but Alec took one look at how tiny Magnus was and declined. He didn’t need any _more_ broken bones.

  However Alec did accept Magnus’s offer to help him limp into bed. Once Alec was settled, Magnus nervously flitted around the dorm tidying things randomly. It was making Alec dizzy just watching him.

  “For God’s sake, Magnus, sit down. You must be exhausted,” Alec said.

  Guiltily, Magnus sank down onto his bed. He opened his mouth to say something, but Alec stopped him.

  “I swear to God, Magnus, if you apologise one more time I’ll hit you with one of my crutches. _It wasn’t your fault_ ,” Alec told him firmly.

  “I can’t stop feeling like it is, darling,” Magnus mumbled miserably.

  “If you want to apologise for something, maybe you should apologise for _calling my sister_! What the hell were you thinking?” Alec demanded.

  “Alexander. You were unconscious, what else was I supposed to do?” Magnus replied incredulously.

  “ _Not_ call my sister,” Alec mumbled sleepily, sinking back into the pillows.

  Magnus smirked, but it wasn’t a teasing smirk. “Get some rest, darling.”

  Alec was inclined to do just that. However as the drowsiness started to take over, one question popped into his mind.

  “Magnus?” 

  Magnus made an questioning sound.

  “Why _were_ you at the pub crawl? Like why are you a part of the Society?” Alec asked, a little hesitant.

  “Seriously, _that’s_ what you’re worried about right now?” Magnus was disbelieving.

  “Well, you’re not gay.”

  “Of course not, darling, I’m bisexual.”

  Everything suddenly made a lot more sense.

  “ _Oh_ ,” Alec realised.

  Now Magnus’s smirk was teasing, though it only lasted for a second.

  “Sleep well, Alexander,” he said softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realised after I wrote this that I could've split it in two and left you with another cliffhanger... but I decided not to be mean this time :')
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this giant ass chapter! (well, giant for me)  
> I wrote most of it between the hours of 2am and 4am so I hope the ending doesn't feel too rushed? I was just wanting to go to sleep but I wouldn't let myself until I finished because I felt like I was on a roll xD
> 
> Find me on tumblr @hearts-ofwar!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec spends some time trying to recover from what happened

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's been a while since updated guys!
> 
> I realised the other day, and I probably should've done this in the last chapter too, that there could potentially be triggers in this chapter with the breakdowny type stuff and all. So just thought I'd warn you :)
> 
> Enjoy!

  Alec awoke with a start, panting heavily. 

  _Just a dream, just a dream. It was just a dream_. He chanted to himself.

  Of course, it _wasn’t_ just a dream. Small slivers of memory from that night had been coming back to Alec slowly over the last week. Luckily, he’d been rather drunk when it happened, so he was unable to recall a lot of it. Unluckily, he’d been rather drunk when it happened so he’d been pretty terrible at fighting back, which meant that he was a lot more bruised then he would’ve been. 

  Not that he wouldn’t have been bruised still if he was one hundred percent sober. Alec’s self-defense skills weren’t marvelous exactly, but he liked to think he would’ve known enough to at least land a few punches himself instead of just-

  Alec winced at the memories of the pain, even if it was only a fraction of them. 

  The worst damage had been to his leg, which was broken. Alec found this a little comforting, because his leg was only broken due to the way he’d fallen. Of course, as Magnus never hesitated to point out, he’d only fallen because he got hit in the first place.

  _Magnus._ Alec’s roommate had been fussing over him all week. Doing his chores, helping him move around, making him food - he had even tried to spoon feed it to him but Alec had vehemently objected - but most of all, making him guilty.

  Not that Magnus even knew that that’s what he was doing, and Alec had a feeling that a normal person wouldn’t be feeling as such. But Alec just watched Magnus do all of these things for him and he couldn’t help but feel bad. After all, it was his fault he got bashed in the first place. If he had only waited to hear Magnus out instead of running off like an idiot... None of it would ever have happened. 

  It wasn’t just Magnus that Alec was feeling guilty over either. Aline and Heather were having a hard time trying to convince The Institute _not_ to revoke the Society’s funding. It was ridiculous really; this wasn’t the first pub crawl they’d run, according to Magnus, but it was the first time that anyone had gotten hurt. But The Institute were concerned about their all important public image, and to them it seemed like this would give the university a bad rep. It completely baffled Alec, yet he still couldn’t stop feeling as though it was all his fault.

  “Alexander?” Magnus’s voice was only a whisper, but in the darkness of the dorm it felt as though he’d shouted.

  “Yeah?” Alec responded, whispering also.

  Alec heard the blankets rustle over in Magnus’s direction, followed by the thud of something landing on the floor.

  “Dammit,” Magnus muttered, and suddenly the room was filled with overbearing brightness as he turned on his beside lamp. Alec squinted to let his eyes adjust. When he felt as though it were safe, he opened them fully.

  Magnus was leaning over the side of the bed, reaching for the book he’d knocked off. Alec took this moment to appreciate the outrageous pyjamas he was wearing - glittery silver fabric that was loose around his body, as though it were a size too big. The muscles of his back were barely visible, but they were there. Alec practically had them memorised at this point. He suspected that even if Magnus was wearing a sack he’d still be able to notice them.

  Grabbing the book with a satisfied huff, Magnus placed it back on the table. He then cast his beautiful eyes to Alec, their gaze filled with concern.

  “Are you alright?” He asked.

  “I’m fine,” Alec replied automatically. Magnus’s eyes narrowed.

  “Why are you up then?”

  “I just had a dream; it woke me up. I’m fine, Magnus, really,” Alec insisted. 

  “I don’t believe that for a second,” Magnus dismissed. Understanding flickered. “Did... are you remembering more about that night?”

  Alec rubbed his arms self-consciously. “A bit. The same stuff, usually.”

  “ _Usually_?” Magnus said in disbelief. “Alec, how long have you been dreaming about this?”

  “Since it happened,” Alec admitted quietly, looking down.

  Magnus scrambled out of his own bed and sat on the edge of Alec’s. Alec wouldn’t look at him.

  “Alexander...” Magnus breathed. Alec met his gaze then. It was full of worry, pity and... something else Alec couldn’t put his finger on. It didn’t matter at that second. Alec hated Magnus looking at him like that, as though he were something broken. 

  “I’m _okay_ , Magnus. _Please_ just go back to bed,” Alec protested.

  Magnus reached out to put a hand over his, but Alec jerked away. He didn’t want to be comforted by Magnus out of pity. 

  “You should really talk to someone about it, Alexander. It’s not something that will just go away. Believe me, I know,” Magnus said quietly.

  “I don’t _want_ to talk to anyone about it, Magnus,” Alec grumbled. “It’s... it’s too hard. Talking about it will only make it more real. I don’t _want_ to remember what happened, I don’t want to _think_ about it anymore! I just want it to go away!”

  Alec was dangerously close to tears. Something inside of him was breaking, and he clutched his stomach as though that would stop it.

  He took a few heavy breaths in an attempt to calm himself, but it wasn’t working. Every bruise on his body felt as though it were pulsing, and he physically shook as his breathing turned into sobs. The feeling inside was tearing him up, and he was unable to control himself as he rocked back and forth, trying to hold himself together. He was vaguely aware that he was now hyperventilating, as his body had tried to hold back the tears. A copper taste filled his mouth, and Alec realised that he’d been biting his lip so hard that he’d drawn blood.

  Suddenly, a strong, warm pair of arms were around him, over his shoulders and around his waist. Magnus pulled Alec’s head down to rest on his shoulder as he tried to help him hold himself together. It didn’t help much, not really, but Alec was grateful for the effort. No longer having the strength to stay upright, he let himself fall completely into the embrace. Magnus quietly held him as he cried, stroking his hair gently and saying nothing. 

  Eventually, Alec seemed to have exhausted himself. Magnus pulled back a bit to see that he’d managed to cry himself to sleep. Not wanting to disturb him, Magnus pulled some blankets over himself and adjusted them so that they both lay down, Alec using his shoulder as a pillow.

  Falling asleep was easier then Magnus expected.

 

  The next morning, Alec became vaguely aware that he was not alone in his bed. Warm arms were holding him protectively, and Alec felt so safe that he didn’t want to move. Soft, even breathing was the only sound he could hear, and it was nice. Snuggling down further, the arms tightened around him just a bit. In his drowsiness and reluctance to wake up Alec wasn’t thinking about why there was a person in his bed, let alone _who_ it was.

  A hand moved to nestle in his hair, and suddenly a whole flurry of images came back to Alec about what had transpired the night before.

  “Holy shit!” he cried, scrambling to the edge of the bed immediately. He was annoyed that he couldn’t get all the way out of the bed. Damn that stupid cast. 

  Magnus jerked awake with a start. He took in the state of Alec - panicked, shocked and a little angry with messy bed hair - and hit his head back on the pillow with a groan.

  “Alexander,” he sighed, and Alec absolutely did not inwardly moan at the sound of Magnus’ voice. Nor did he feel his blood run south or his face heat up. Not at all.

  “Eight o’clock is far too early to be having a crisis about this, don’t you think?” Magnus continued sleepily.

  “This? _This?_ What _this_? Why are you sleeping in my bed?” Alec demanded to know.

  “You cried yourself to sleep in my arms. I didn’t wish to wake you by moving,” Magnus said simply.

  “That’s _not_ an excuse!” Alec cried indignantly.

  “An excuse for what?” Magnus queried. “All we did was sleep.”

  _We were_ cuddling _. And I liked it. Too much._ Of course, Alec couldn’t say that.

  Unfortunately for him, that was all that was running through his brain right now.

  “Well I haven’t had enough sleep, and I’m too comfortable to move. You’re welcome to join me back in here, or you can sleep on my bed if you like,” Magnus mumbled as he turned his face back into the pillow.

  Those really weren’t good options for the situation that was happening in Alec’s pants right now. Scared Magnus might notice, he turned around to face the bathroom.

  “I think I will have a shower,” he decided. “I can’t sleep anymore.”

  It was only half of a lie.

  “Whatever,” Magnus said while yawning. “Just don’t sing. And don’t forget to put the cover on your cast.”

  Alec was going to fight the singing remark. However as he opened his mouth to do that, a light cat-like noise came from behind him. Magnus was already asleep.

  Not wanting to disturb him, Alec grabbed his crutches from the edge of the bed. He hobbled into the bathroom as quietly as he could possibly manage, shutting the door noiselessly.

  And that was the first time Alec ever masturbated to the thought of Magnus Bane. He had a feeling it wouldn’t be the last.

 

  A little later that day, Lydia came over to visit him. She brought a double cheeseburger meal from McDonald’s - his favourite - as well as an array of colourful textas.

  “What are _those_ for?” He asked with a mouthful of food, eyeing the textas warily.

  “Your cast is boring,” she informed him. “I’m going to make it pretty!”

  “Like hell you are!” Alec objected immediately. 

  “I don’t believe Lydia would be able to resemble anything as horrible as hell, Alexander,” Magnus chimed in, stepping out of the bathroom and rubbing his wet hair with a towel. By God, he was _shirtless_. Alec had to duck his head so that no one would notice his face go as red as a tomato. 

  “She’s basically an angel,” Magnus continued, completely unaware of the effect he was having on Alec.

  “Magnus,” Lydia greeted him with a grin. “You’re as lovely as ever.”

  “Yes, my natural charm appears to be persevering despite my constant proximity to this adorable ray of sunshine over here,” Magnus teased sarcastically.

  “No comment,” Alec responded.

  “What were you two doves disagreeing over before my gloriousness stepped into the room?” Magnus asked, reaching into his drawers and pulling out a dark red shirt. Alec remembered that one - it had the words MAKE ME printed on it in bold, white lettering. Like the majority of Magnus’s shirts, it was ridiculously low cut and covered in sequins.

  “I’m going to decorate Alec’s cast,” Lydia filled in.

  “No, no you are _not_. I refuse to let you,” Alec objected again.

  “Alec, I brought you Maccas. You literally have no choice,” Lydia informed him.

  Alec glared at the offending bag, which was now empty. He regretted how quickly he’d inhaled the food, without stopping to think about the consequences for doing so. And here he’d thought she was just being nice.

  “Ohh do you have any glitter textas?” Magnus cheerfully wanted to know. “If you don’t, I think I might.”

  “I don’t! If you’ve got them, you can help me decorate,” Lydia promised, a mischievously gleeful look in her eye.

  “No, no, no!” Alec was practically shouting now. It fell on deaf ears.

  Magnus’s eyes raked over Alec’s body. “Oh, _excellent_. I’ve been dying to get some glitter on this one.”

  Alec was going to pass out. Or throw up, whichever got him out of this situation faster.

  Lydia yanked back the blankets to expose his pristine white cast. 

  “Look at it Lydia. It’s beautiful! You’re going to ruin it,” he tried to convince her for the last time.

  That was a mistake. Lydia’s looked at him, her eyes conveying the message _challenge accepted._ Before he could stop her, she whipped out a purple marker and drew a small dot right in the middle.

  “Oh look, it’s ruined,” she pouted. “Look’s like I’ll just have to draw on the whole thing to match!”

  Alec groaned. “You’re impossible.”

  “Don’t you know it.”

  Magnus let out a triumphant shout, waving his hand in the air. “Got them!”

  Lydia let out a squeal of delight, clapping her hands.

  Magnus floated over to the bed. He looked at the cast with a thoughtful expression, tilting his head as though he were scrutinising a canvas.

  “You know what?” He said, just as Lydia was about to start drawing. He took hold of her arm and pulled her back. “We should get other people in on this.”

  Alec blanched. “Absolutely _not_. I have not agreed to any of this!”

  “Oh for goodness sake, Alexander,” Magnus sighed, rolling his eyes. “Stop complaining. This is happening, you might as well appreciate it.”

  Alec muttered something unintelligible under his breath, crossing his arms.

  “You mean like his sister?” Lydia suggested.

  “And his brothers,” Magnus agreed. “Jace, Max...”

  “Aline?” Lydia proposed.

  “Is she his brother?” Magnus joked. “Yes she’ll want in too. Which means Emma will hear about it so we should leave her some room as well. Oh!”

  He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, quickly tapping out a message. Once he sent it, he put his phone on the table beside Alec’s bed.

  “Who was that to?” Lydia asked before Alec could.

  “Clary,” he replied simply, before seeing the look on Alec’s face. “Don’t give me that look, Alexander, I know you’re still getting to know her. But Clary is an artistic genius. There’s no one better to contribute.”

  Lydia’s lips pressed into a thin line. “She’s gonna make the rest of us look bad isn’t she?”

  Magnus raised his eyebrows. “Unquestionably.”

  “Right so that’s one, two, three...” Lydia counted off how many sections they needed on her fingers. “Eight. Eight sections. We can divide the whole thing through the centre and then have four on either side?”

  “Sounds good to me!”

  “What colour should I make the dividing lines?” She checked.

  “Black,” Alec spoke up. Lydia and Magnus both looked at him, surprise clear on their faces. This made him begin to stutter nervously. “It-It-It’s just that, well you know, black goes with everything and-and...”

  “It’s a perfectly sensible suggestion, Alexander,” Magnus approved. “Black does indeed go with everything. I think we were both just a little shocked that you made the suggestion at all.”

  Lydia nodded in agreement. 

  Alec shrugged. “Figured I might as well contribute _something_ to this project. Wouldn’t want anyone accusing me of not pulling my weight.”

  The corners of Magnus’s mouth lifted into a small, delighted smile. It was an honest smile, one Alec didn’t see too often. It was definitely growing to be one of his favourites.

  Magnus’s phone lit up, so Alec grabbed it before Magnus could.

  “Clary says she’s on her way over,” Alec told them, reading from the phone. He then frowned.

  “What is it Alec?” Lydia asked, slightly concerned.   
  “Magnus,” Alec said slowly. “Why is your background a tabby cat wearing a glittery tuxedo and a top hat?”

  “That’s Chairman Meow!” Magnus said as he snatched his phone back, as if that explained everything.

 

  Clary arrived an hour later. Lydia had already divvied up the cast, and cheerfully pointed out which section was to be hers. It was a joint decision between Magnus and Lydia that Clary complete her section first, so that it could potentially act as an inspiration or even just a theme to everyone else. They had then decided to go out for lunch since Alec had had his already (courtesy of Lydia) and Clary was coming over. She would be able to look after him if he needed anything.

  When Clary got there, it turned out that she had brought her own, special ‘art’ textas, as opposed to the generic Faber-Castell ones that Lydia was intending to use.

  “What kind of stuff do you like?” Clary asked Alec, to which he replied with a shrug. 

  “Well come on. You’ve gotta give me some ideas here. I don’t wanna just draw random patterns, because I sense that’s not really your style,” she coaxed.

  Alec glanced around the room for ideas, and his eyes fell on the McDonald’s bag. “I like double cheeseburgers and chips?”

  Clary chuckled, rolling her eyes. In the top left hand corner of her section, she drew the outline of the famous ‘M’. “Anything else?”

   “I don’t know! Rainbows?”

  Clary sighed. “Alright, I’m going to draw a rainbow on here, but it’s because it’s a symbol of your gayness, not because you just asked me randomly.”

  _Oh shit_. 

  “Maybe it’s not such a good idea then,” Alec said hastily, moving his leg to the side a little before Clary could start. She looked confused.

  “How come? You can’t tell me you’re not gay, their are no closets in here for you to jump back into.”

  “No it’s just... wait how are you so certain that I’m gay?” Alec insisted to know.

  “Well you didn’t deny it straight away, so that was a big clue,” Clary reminded him.

  Alec humphed. 

  “Also Magnus might have told me about everything that happened at the pub crawl...” she added tentatively.

  He scowled. “Why would he tell you?”

  “You sort of broke your leg, Alec. I was kind of concerned as to how that occurred,” she pointed out.

  “You were concerned?”

  “Well I don’t hate you, so yes I was concerned.”

  Alec snorted. “Yay! Clary doesn’t hate me! My life is fulfilled.”

  “Hey, we don’t know that much about each other, so I thought it might’ve been a little strange to call you my friend,” she explained, hitting him playfully.  
  “A little,” Alec allowed, rubbing his arm where she’d hit him.

  Clary started to draw on his cast then, which he found a little confusing since he didn’t _think_ he’d given her anymore inspiration.

  “What you drawing?” he asked, craning his neck to see. She pushed him back against the bed.

  “It’s a surprise,” she told him, staying very focused on her art.

  Alec twiddled his thumbs - literally - trying to think of something to say.

  “So uh... what are you doing here? At university, I mean, not _here_ here,” he asked awkwardly.

  “I’m doing a visual arts course,” she elucidated. “I’m here on a scholarship, because we’re broke a lot.”

  Alec remembered what Magnus had said about Clary having had a hard life. “Hey I’m here on scholarship too!”

  “Sweet! What kind?”

  “Sport. You?”

  “Art.” She gave him a knowing smile. “Obviously.”

  He looked at her, and then at the cast, and he wanted to smack his head on the table. “Right.” _Duh_.

  “What kind of sport do you do?” She asked, refocusing on drawing.

  “Archery,” he told her, a smug smile spreading onto his face with pride.

  She looked surprised, though she kept her eyes on the cast. “Not very common, is it?”

  “Not particularly, no,” he answered.

  “You any good?”

  Now it was his turn to roll his eyes. “Obviously.” He drew out the word a little.

  She glanced at him with a quizzical expression, before realising her error. “Oh shit, yeah right. Scholarship.”

  Clary spent the next two hours drawing outlines on the cast. She explained to him that she wasn’t going to colour them today, she would let the black ink dry for twenty-four hours so that it was less likely to smudge. Alec knew almost nothing about art, so he accepted her word for it.

  While she drew, they talked about various things. They talked about Alec’s archery, their families, and how Clary had met Magnus - which was supposedly a funny story, or so she said.

  “He always throws a party for his cat’s birthday,” she told him. “And a few years ago I got plus-oned through a friend. We went, and one of my other friends who went decided to drink something without knowing what it was. _Idiot_. I think it was spiked with some weird drugs or something. His voice got all squeaky and he was _really_ energetic. He was literally running around everywhere. I was following him around and he had decided he needed to take a piss. Of course, I’d never been there before and he was too high to tell me where the bathroom was. So I had to go and open every door, and apologise as I essentially walked in on a couple in every one, until I finally found the toilet. Except, then I _really_ had to apologise, because this time I’d walked in on Magnus using it.”

  Alec laughed. “Oh God. Was he standing or sitting?”

  “Sitting,” she cringed, screwing her eyes shut. “My friend used the toilet after him, and then proceeded to pass out on his couch. So I stayed with him until he woke up the next morning. Magnus and I actually stayed in touch after that though, and now I get invited to Chairman Meow’s birthday party as a guest as opposed to a plus one.” She preened a little about that.

  “So... he throws his cat a birthday party _every_ year?” Alec asked slowly.

  “Yeah. I think this year his birthday lands during the semester, though,” Clary mused.

  Alec relaxed a little. “So he won’t have one then?”

  “Oh no,” Clary shook her head. “No, he’ll have one. It’ll just be here instead of the apartment. And also we’ll be missing the guest of honour.”

  “Magnus is going to be throwing a party _here_?” Alec’s voice went up several octaves.

  “Not for a month or so, don’t worry. You’ll probably get invited too!”

  Clary didn’t seem to understand that none of this was reassuring Alec. In fact, it was making him more panicked the more she told him.

  He sank back into the pillows. “Oh, God.”

 

  That night, Alec was woken up by the same nightmare. His chest rose and fell as he tried to regain control of himself, but he could feel the panic escalating.

  “Not again!” He whispered anxiously.

  _Although_...

  No. No that was _not_ a good idea. That was the worst idea Alec had ever had.

  However as much as he hated to admit it, even just entertaining that one thought was already making him calm down.

  He peered over at Magnus, who was asleep soundly. Alec could hear his even breathing all the way over from the other side of the room, which was ridiculous. Surely his own desire was escalating his senses.

  _No_ , he scolded himself. _It’s a bad idea_.

  In order to discourage his determined subconscious, Alec attempted to settle back down into the pillows. Just as he closed his eyes though, he felt the panic rise up again.

  _Screw it._

  Throwing back the blankets, Alec hopped quietly over to Magnus’s bed. Luckily for him Magnus was already sleeping over on the left side, so he wasn’t going to need to move him.

  As Alec opened the quilt up and sat on the edge of the bed, a new kind of panic washed over him. What if Magnus woke up and was horrified at the sight of Alec?

  _That’s ridiculous_ , some part of Alec’s brain told him. At this point, he couldn’t tell if it was the rational side or the irrational side. _Magnus was happy enough to sleep in the same bed as you last night. This isn’t much different_.

  Except now it was Alec instigating it, not Magnus. This time, it was very deliberate.

  After weighing up the pros and cons, Alec decided that his anxiety could stick it. He swung his legs under the quilt, and snuggled into Magnus’s pillow. It was a little uncomfortable compared to his own, but that because Alec was simply used to having _more_ pillows.

  Due to the fact that it was a single, there wasn’t much space between them. This realisation made Alec swallow thickly and he turned his back to Magnus, facing his own bed. 

  Suddenly, the blankets began to rustle in Magnus’s direction. Alec was filled with dread, waiting for Magnus to inevitably wake up and kick him out.

  However, none of that happened. Instead, an arm wove it’s way around Alec’s waist, and he was pulled back towards to the left side. Feet intertwined with his legs. 

  “Alexander...” Magnus mumbled very quietly. Alec felt blood rush to his face - and other areas - and none of this was helped by a face resting against his shoulder.

  “Magnus?” Alec breathed. 

  There was no answer except a light snore. Magnus was still asleep.

  Taking a deep breath, Alec closed his eyes and prayed that this kept the nightmares at bay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YEAH so that all just happened. Once again I had a plan for this and it all kind of just didn't happen because the story took over. Oops. Next chapter! Hopefully...
> 
> Also I am going to try and update on a more consistent and regular basis now. I'm thinking once a week, on Fridays or something. Well, Fridays for me because I'm in Australia. I don't know about you guys.
> 
> Please leave comments because it is literally the most wonderful thing to get notifications about that stuff. And also I am greedy AF and like receiving the love ;)
> 
> Find me on tumblr @hearts-ofwar! Feel free to talk to me on there if you prefer that to commenting on here :) xx


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec and friends bond over the decoration of his cast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So instead of waiting until 3pm on a Friday like a normal person, naturally I have to update at 1am on Friday morning :')  
> It's kind of a filler, sorry! Though there are some important things in here still that I think you'll like ;)
> 
> There are potentially triggery type things in this chapter, just warning you guys!
> 
> Enjoy!

  Alec awoke the next morning to find that he had become the big spoon. At some point in the night, both he and Magnus had rolled over so that they were facing the wall. Alec’s head was tucked into the corner of Magnus’s neck, and every time he inhaled he breathed the scent of Magnus; shampoo mixed with a little sweat and the faintest trace of cologne. Alec had the feeling that if this were anyone else, he would be grossed out. Of course this was _Magnus_ , so that would never happen. 

  His cast was stuck out awkwardly to one side, but his free leg was thoroughly intwined between Magnus’s. One of his arms was wrapped tightly around Magnus’s waist, and Magnus was cradling it against his chest as though it were a teddy bear. Alec’s other arm was tucked under Magnus’s head like a pillow. 

  And- _oh_. Magnus had wriggled a little in his sleep, and Alec was suddenly very aware of where his lower half was positioned. His groin was pushed right up against Magnus’s butt, and the wriggling had put more pressure on it. As a result of this, his traitorous cock was steadily growing to hardness, which was putting even more pressure on Magnus’s ass.

  Alec took in a deep breath, and climbed out of bed as quickly as he could, holding onto the beside table for support. He did _not_ want to wake Magnus like this. Alec’s self esteem would not be able to handle the disgusted look Magnus would surely give him if he felt his hard cock pressed against his ass. He could just imagine all the horrible things Magnus would call him: pervert, repulsive, sickening...

  _No_. Something, somewhere in the back of Alec’s mind - which sounded suspiciously like Magnus’s voice - vehemently disagreed. _You are none of those things_. _Stop thinking that way. Magnus would never call you any of those things, so you shouldn’t do it to yourself._

  Alec shook his head. He wouldn’t risk it. Glancing down at his half hard cock, he sighed. He hobbled into the bathroom, shut the door and sat on the toilet to put the cover for his cast on. Hopping into the shower, he leaned against the wall and turned on the water. Hot water rained over his head and he let out a sigh. It felt nice. 

  Alec turned so that he was directly under the flow of the water, his arm propped against the wall to support him. He leaned his head against it which gave him a good view of his dick. The feel of warm water beating down against his back was not helping it grow softer. Alec let out an exasperated sigh. _Twice in two days_? This was a little much, even for him.

  He pictured a shirtless Magnus, and wrapped a loose hand around his cock. Sighing at the contact, he let his mind wander over the details of Magnus post-shower. His hair dripping beads of water down over his chest, over his nipples. Alec wanted to lick and suck those nipples until he had Magnus moaning wantonly all over the place. Alec imagined himself doing just that, before moving up to kiss Magnus slowly, teasingly. 

  Alec groaned quietly, and he started to wrap his hand a little tighter as he stroked.

  He imagined the slick feel of Magnus’s tongue exploring his mouth. Magnus biting his lower lip and pulling oh so slightly, and a louder groan broke free of both real Alec and imaginary Alec. He had to bite his cheek, as he didn’t want to be too loud and wake Magnus.

  Imaginary Alec tugged the towel around Magnus’s waist loose and let it fall to the ground. Of course, in his dream Alec was already naked, so he and Magnus took a step back to appreciate each other before colliding in a fierce kiss. Magnus’s mouth moved to his neck, sucking and nibbling his way across it. Alec was moaning quietly and finding his breath coming in harsh pants. 

  Real Alec had begun to thrust his hips into his hand as it stroked his shaft, teasing the slit with his thumb and squeezing the base lightly every so often. Was his cock leaking? He couldn’t tell - it was already so wet because of the shower.

  Imaginary Alec was loosing himself and had been pushed back onto the bed. Magnus leaned down, giving him a predatory look before taking Alec into his mouth. 

  Real Alec stroked faster, harder.

  Magnus swallowed Alec down all the way - gag reflex, what gag reflex? Alec was so close just from imagining Magnus’s perfect lips wrapped wonderfully around his dick. Magnus would pull back slightly and lick the tip, teasing Alec immensely. He would lick his way around, tracing patterns with his tongue, before swallowing Alec down again. Alec would begin to thrust himself into Magnus’s mouth, his hips almost moving of their own accord. He would grip Magnus’s hair tightly, which would cause him to moan sending amazing vibrations through his dick. 

  Alec leaned his head against the shower wall, using both hands now as he tried to bring himself over the edge. He was so close, so close...

  Imaginary Magnus opened his eyes and looked at Alec. That look, filled with lust, want, _need_ sent real Alec tumbling over the edge. Everything was lost to pure blinding pleasure as he came with a groan. Ribbons of white spilled from his cock, and Alec forgot about his broken leg entirely. He put his back to the wall as he came down from the high, breathing heavily. He was spent. 

  In a daze, he watched the come get washed down the drain. That was one benefit to jerking off in the shower - the clean-up was essentially done for you. Eventually, though, he realised that he needed to finish up soon. Otherwise Magnus would whine at him about the lack of hot water again. 

  Alec quickly washed his hair and scrubbed himself clean of any evidence - not that there was any physically, but Alec still felt as though traces of what he’d done lingered. When he was satisfied that it was gone, he turned off the water and stepped out of the shower.

 

  Clary came over after lunch that day to finish her drawing on the cast. She’d made Alec promise not to try and look at it while she was gone, and Magnus had sworn to make sure he didn’t, so Alec still had no idea what it looked like.

  He settled himself down on his bed, propped up by pillows. Clary sat on the edge with Alec’s leg resting on her lap. 

  She coloured in silence for a long time. Magnus had gone out to see Aline and Emma, who were coming around later to do their sections. Alec had begun reading a book when he realised that Clary wasn’t up for much conversation today.

  So when Clary quietly said his name, he almost thought he’d imagined it.

  “Yeah?” he responded. She didn’t answer him for a long time, but she’d stopped colouring so Alec knew he hadn’t been daydreaming. She had a thoughtful expression, as though she were carefully considering what to say.

  Eventually Alec got impatient though. “What, Clary?”

  She looked up at him then, her eyes wary but concerned. “I was just wondering... you haven’t told anyone exactly what happened that night have you?”

  Alec’s lips pressed into a thin line. He wasn’t expecting _Clary_ of all people to be the first to properly ask about this. He looked down, unable to meet her gaze. “Other then the police, no. I don’t remember a lot of it, I was pretty drunk.”

  Clary made an uncertain noise. “No offense... but I’m not entirely sure I believe you.”

  His eyes snapped to her then, anger rising. “You don’t believe that I got bashed up?”

  “No, no no!” She backtracked quickly. “No, of course you were bashed, Alec, I’m not _stupid_. I meant that I’m not convinced that you don’t remember much. I think you remember a lot more then you’re letting on, and you’re just too scared to talk about it.”

  Alec scowled. “What makes you think that?”

  She didn’t answer him directly. “What have you been telling everyone?”

  “About what I remember? Three guys came up to me, one hit me so I fell - which is when I broke my leg - and they just kept kicking me until I passed out,” Alec told her. “But you knew all of this already, Magnus told you.”

  “Yeah, he did. I just wanted to hear you say it,” Clary said quietly.

  Neither of them said anything after that, and Clary began colouring again. Just when Alec thought she’d dropped it though, she stopped again.

  She took a deep breath and played with her fingers in her lap. “When my Mum was pregnant with me, my Dad went to jail for murdering her parents and my brother.” 

  Alec’s blood ran cold. _Clary’s had a hard life_ , he remembered Magnus saying. Was she telling him her story?

  “He was there for a year or so, but then new evidence came up that supposedly supported his innocence,” Clary continued her story, unaware of Alec’s minor internal panic. “So he was allowed to walk free. But Mum didn’t believe he was innocent, so she ran from him. She changed our names and moved to a whole new continent. I grew up constantly changing from one school to the next, always moving around, never staying anywhere longer then six months. Finally by the time I was thirteen, she thought that it was safe enough to settle down properly. I made friends, went to school, she set up an antiques store and we were trying to live a normal life.

  “Except, he hadn’t stopped looking. When I was fifteen, he found us. He kidnapped me and-”

  “Oh my God, Clary, stop.” Alec rushed to stop her. “You don’t need to tell me this.”

  “No, Alec, you need to hear it,” she said firmly, tears beginning to form in her eyes. “You _need_ to hear it so that you understand me.

  “He kidnapped me. He didn’t try and hurt me or anything, but he kept me locked in a room and brought in extravagant food three times a day. He kept saying how he didn’t want to hurt me, he just wanted us all to be a family again. He would say over and over how he just knew that Mum would come back to him, and we could all be together as one big happy family. I think he might have been waiting for something like stockholm syndrome to kick in, but it never did. I just hated him more everyday. And then... one day he came in with a boy. He was a little older then me. Dad told me that he was my brother. My brother, Jonathan. The one that I thought he’d killed with my grandparents. I was shocked, to say the least. The problem was, he would leave me and Jonathan together to get to know each other. Remember how I said Dad never hurt me? Jonathan did.”

  Clary burst out into tears then. “I’m sorry, it was so long ago but it just...”

  “It feels like yesterday,” Alec finished softly. “How... how did you get away?”

  “I didn’t,” she said bitterly. “He _let_ me go. He saw the bruises that Jonathan left one day, but instead of punishing him he just let me go. He said he’d be around when Mum and I were ready to join them. And I ran like hell. Mum and I went to the police but by the time they got to the house, Dad and Jonathan were gone. But I just hate how I’m only here because of him. How there’s this part of me that’s always telling me that I should be grateful he let me go. It makes me sick.”

  Alec let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “That’s...”

  “My point is, Alec, that I can tell that you’re not telling people everything, because I can see the weight of it inside you. I’ve been through it. That story that I just told you? That barely even _begins_ to cover what happened to me. And that was the story that I told everyone for months - I didn’t go into any details about _how_ Jonathan hurt me, or what my father would say exactly, or what was in that room. And everyone just accepted it. They knew that it was too painful for me to talk about. But it was building up inside me, and one day I just snapped. I had a complete breakdown.”

  She sniffed. The tears had stopped, and she had a determined look on her face now. “You _need_ to talk to someone, Alec. It doesn’t have to be a shrink like I did, though that was because I kind of forced into it after...” She trailed off, her silence conveying everything Alec needed to hear. “Just promise me you won’t let it get that far. You need to tell someone. Let it all out. If you let it build up, one day it’ll all explode.”

  And with that, she went back to colouring in Alec’s cast. 

  His head was spinning with the overhaul of information. Magnus _really_ wasn’t exaggerating when he said her life was tough. If Clary, who’d been through so much more then he was, was telling him to open up, surely that was a good enough reason to do so? Alec felt as though he couldn’t just not say _anything_ after she’d essentially just told her her entire life story. He felt bad that he hadn’t said much at all.

  Taking a deep breath, he was primed to tell her everything.

  “Don’t,” she stopped him. “Don’t make the first person you tell be me.”

  “Why not? Wasn’t that the point?” He asked, bewildered.

  “No, Alec, the point wasn’t for you to tell _me_. The point was for you to just tell someone. Like your family or maybe even Lydia. Not me.”

  Alec didn’t know what to say to that.

  “Just because I told you about my life doesn’t mean that you _need_ to tell me about yours,” Clary reassured him with a smile. “It’s not a I’ll-tell-you-if-you-tell-me-first deal.”

  Alec relaxed. He hadn’t realised until then how much he still wasn’t wanting to talk about it. Clary was right - telling her first would’ve been a mistake.

 

  Magnus came home with Emma and Aline an hour later, just as Clary was finishing up. Alec automatically brightened up at the sight of Magnus, and he gave Aline and Emma a cheery wave.

  “How’re you feeling?” Aline asked him kindly. 

  “I am sick and tired of my leg essentially being a dead weight,” Alec confided. “It makes the most mundane tasks frustrating as hell.”

  Aline let out an agreeing hum.

  “How did everything go, biscuit?” Magnus asked Clary. 

  “All done!” She declared. “Wanna see?”

  “Hey, I haven’t even seen yet!” Alec protested.

  Magnus just winked at him, before moving closer to take a proper look. He let out a low whistle.

  “My goodness, Clary. That’s your best work yet!”

  She blushed. “It’s almost a pity it’s on a cast. I would to have put it in a portfolio or something.”

  Emma peered over Magnus’s shoulder. 

  “Oh, that’s fantastic. How the hell are we going to compete with that?” She whined.

  “Can I look now?” Alec demanded.

  In answer, Clary helped him bend his knee up so that he could see.

  Alec was lost for words. It was... breathtaking. She’d drawn a cartoon style image of him in the middle, wearing a plain black shirt and jeans. His arm was raised above his head with an interesting expression on his face. He was loathed to use the word ‘adorable’ but there weren’t really any other words that fit. 

  And around the cartoon were various things that Alec was sure were meant to represent parts of his life. The ‘M’ for McDonald’s was in the corner, but Alec also spotted a pizza, a bow and quiver, some chopsticks, a rainbow and many other things that he remembered mentioning briefly to her as they spoke.

  “Clary...” he breathed.

  “Guys please stop complimenting me, I’ll explode,” Clary laughed nervously.

  “ _I’m_ not complimenting you,” Emma huffed. “The standard is impossibly high now.”

  Everyone laughed.

  “Alright, it’s my turn!” Aline announced. She waved Clary away. “Shove off.”

  Clary got off the bed, and Aline took her place. 

  “I think I’ll head home,” Clary decided, stretching. “I’m beat.”

  “I’ll walk you out, biscuit,” Magnus responded, opening up the door for her. She gave everyone a short wave, and ducked under Magnus’s arm to get through the door. He followed her out, shutting it softly behind him.

  “You’re toilet’s in there, isn’t it?” Emma asked Alec once they’d left.

  Alec nodded.

  “I think I’ll use it quickly.” And she did just that.

  Which left Aline and Alec alone. Like Clary, she had brought her own textas, but they were the same as Lydia’s anyway.

  “What do you think you’ll draw?” Alec queried her. 

  “I’m not sure yet...” she contemplated, looking around the room. Her eyes came to rest on a picture that sat on Alec’s bedside table.

  “Is that your cat?” She asked.

  Alec looked at the picture in question. “Oh, yeah. That’s Church.”

  “What’s he like?”

  “Arrogant. He thinks he’s better then everyone. He only tolerates a few people - me, Mum, Isabelle and Max. Dad was never happy that we got a cat, and for some reason Church doesn’t seem to like Jace. Which I think offends Jace quite a lot,” Alec told her. Oh shit, he was rambling wasn’t he?

  But Aline only laughed. “Good to know!”

  She started drawing then.

  “You’re drawing Church, aren’t you?” Alec checked.

  “I’m going to try,” Aline said, unsure. “I’m no where as good as Clary when it comes to art.”

  “I think Clary has set a ridiculous standard for everyone. Your drawing will look lovely,” Alec reassured her. 

  A moment of silence passed between them, before Aline sat up.

  “Oh, I almost forgot!” she exclaimed, pulling something out of her pocket and holding it out to him. “These were left on tables in the food court. I grabbed one for you.”

  Alec took the paper. It was a flyer for self defense classes.

  “Seriously?” He asked incredulously.

  Aline shrugged. “I just thought it might not be a bad idea? Like obviously you’re not planning on getting bashed again, but it couldn’t hurt.”

  Alec read the flyer properly. Apparently they taught many different types of self defense, such as judo, tai-kwon-do and kick-boxing.

  “The first two sessions are free,” Aline added. “It says that on the bottom.”

  “I saw.”

  He had to admit, it wasn’t the _worst_ idea ever. Alec had kind of wanted to learn some kind of martial art eventually. Archery was great, but it felt like it only kept the upper half of your body in shape. 

  “I think you should definitely go to the first two at least. Especially since our funding is in danger, and that’s kind of down to your stupidity,” Aline reminded him.

  Alec swallowed.

  “I’ll think about it,” he decided. He had a feeling he would do it, but telling her that would only make her assume that he would. And Alec had a habit of backing out of things at the last minute.

  A toilet flush was heard from the bathroom, and Emma emerged not much later. Neither Alec nor Aline spoke about it again.

 

  “I’m going home for a bit tomorrow,” Alec told Magnus later that night.

  It was nearing eleven, and Alec was getting ready for bed. Who knew that lying around all day while people drew on you could be so exhausting? The cast now had three sections filled in, and Alec had to admit even he was excited to see what it looked like when it was all done.

  “Did you want me to come with you?” Magnus called out from the bathroom.

  “You want to meet my family?” Alec asked, a little warily.

  “It wouldn’t be about meeting your family, it would be about helping you.” Magnus stuck his head out from behind the doorframe, toothbrush in hand. 

  Alec gulped. Magnus looked positively glorious without makeup - not that he didn’t look wonderful with makeup of course, but Alec rarely saw him that way. Not to mention that his hair was just coming out of it’s styled manor, so it was sticking up in weird areas. It was so perfect that Alec could feel the blood rushing to his face under his skin and he had to turn away. He pulled open his drawer and grabbed a pyjama top. 

  “I’m not completely incapable of getting from point A to point B without your help, Magnus,” Alec muttered, putting his arms through the holes and lifting the top over his head. He decided that his body was behaving, so he turned back around.

  Magnus had seemingly paused whilst in the middle of brushing his teeth. He held the brush tightly, his eyes wide and jaw clenched around it. His gaze was completely focused on Alec.

  “What?” Alec asked, warily, before his own eyes went wide. “Shit, did I put the top on backwards...”

  He checked the front of his shirt. No tag.

  Frowning, Alec looked back to Magnus. But Magnus had disappeared back into the bathroom to continue brushing his teeth.

  “I just thought it might make life easier for you,” Magnus said when he had finished, stepping out of the bathroom to get into his own pyjamas.

  “I’ll be going home to at least four people who will be frantically trying to make life easier for me,” Alec said sourly.

  “Only four?”

  “Dad will probably be working,” Alec explained with a sigh.

  “At least your siblings will finally get the chance to draw on your cast,” Magnus pointed out.

  “Why haven’t you drawn on it yet?” Alec wondered. “It’s not like you haven’t had the opportunity or anything.”

  Magnus winked at him. “Saving the best till last, Alexander.”

  Alec snorted. “Shouldn’t Clary have gone last then?”

  Magnus poked his tongue out.

  “Highly mature,” Alec muttered, rolling his eyes. He pulled back the covers of his bed and hopped in, grabbing the book off of the table at the same time. However, just as he’d settled into the pillows and opened the book, he felt the covers move and something climb into bed beside him.

  “Magnus!” Alec shrieked. “What the hell are you doing?  
  “Alexander,” Magnus sighed. “We’ve slept in the same bed for two nights now. I think it’s safe to assume that you were going to end up doing it again tonight, so why not just start straight from the get go? Besides, I know that you prefer having lots of pillows.”

  “But- but... You knew about last night?” Alec spluttered.

  Magnus rolled his eyes. “We sleep on single beds, Alexander. It’s pretty obvious when you’re not alone.”

  Alec took a deep breath. “Oh, God.”

  Magnus sensed his apprehension and pulled Alec over to face him properly, looking earnestly into his eyes. “It’s not any different to what happened last night Alec. I’m _okay_ with it. More than okay, really. If sleeping in the same bed helps keep your nightmares at bay, I’ll happily make the sacrifice.”

  Alec averted his gaze, his face warming up again. While he stayed intently focused on his twitching fingers, a thought came into his head. It was a scary thought, one which made everything inside him go cold.  Alec was seriously considering just turning over and going to sleep.

  _You need to talk to someone_ , Clary’s voice whispered in his mind.

  But the idea of talking about it still terrified him, as if saying the words aloud would make everything so real and concrete.

  “Alec, darling, what is it?” Magnus asked, his voice full of worry. “Why have you stiffened up so much?”

  Alec opened his mouth, but the words stuck in his throat.

  Realisation dawned on Magnus’s face. “Is it... about last week?”  
  Alec nodded frantically. Taking a deep breath, he forced the words out. “I’ve been remembering more about it. Can... Can I... Can I tell you?”

  Magnus put a hand against his neck. “Only if you want to. I would never dream of making you tell me anything before you were ready.”

  “Clary says I should talk to someone,” Alec told him.

  “I’m sure she meant family, darling.”

  “I don’t want to tell my family,” Alec shook his head. “They wouldn’t get it. They wouldn’t understand, not really. They could sympathise, but... not empathise.”

  Magnus’s thumb swept small strokes back and forth across his throat, and Alec’s eyes fluttered shut at the touch. “You can tell me as much or as little as you want, Alexander.”

  Alec took a hesitant breath. “Well... they didn’t just bash me up physically.”

  Magnus’s hand went still. 

  “I didn’t remember at first,” Alec continued, his voice shaky. “But I-I keep having the nightmares and they just say the same stuff over and over. Calling me... calling me names like faggot and saying how I was worthless and disgusting...”

  “Oh, Alec,” Magnus murmured, and he pulled Alec across for a comforting hug. Magnus’s arms enveloped him, and he wished that they would swallow him up so he wouldn’t have to deal with anything anymore. Being in Magnus’s arms... it felt safe. Alec felt untouchable there. But he needed to tell Magnus the rest.

  “They didn’t just call me names, Magnus. They would tell me things like how nobody ever wants someone like me, and that I will never be truly loved and that I should just... Magnus?”

  Magnus had gone very still, his breaths barely audible despite there closeness. Magnus pulled Alec back from him so that he could level him with a very serious gaze.

  “Alexander,” he said in a very icy voice. “Under no circumstances do you _ever_ listen to them. You _are_ _not_ worthless, or disgusting, or anything like that. Do you hear me?”

  Alec didn’t know what to say.

  “Do not even think for a second that you are not loved. I can guarantee without even meeting most of your siblings that they love you. Isabelle went crazy over you when you were in hospital - do you think she would do that if she didn’t care?” Magnus went on. “ _You are loved_ , and by more people then just your family.”

  Alec was shocked by this side of Magnus. Never when Alec had known him had he appeared to believe so badly in what he said. Alec could tell that Magnus was very sure of his view on things, even if Alec wasn’t so himself. 

  “Magnus...” he whispered softly, looking at him intently. Magnus’s eyes were full of certainty and empathy as well as something else that Alec couldn’t work out.

  Slowly, the hand that was on his neck started moving again. It stroked it slowly, before beginning to trail softly upwards. His touch was feather light, full of caution. Alec was unable to move, unable to think about anything other then Magnus’s hand on him.

  The fingers moved gently past his throat, up to his cheek before coming back down to his jaw. Everywhere he touched burned Alec’s skin like wildfire, leaving a trail that didn’t fade. Magnus gently tilted Alec’s head up a little before slowly moving his thumb to brush gently over Alec’s lips.

  It was the smallest touch, the lightest thing, yet it was enough to cause Alec’s breath to hitch and his heart to jump into fifth gear. Was... was Magnus leaning towards him? Alec had to be imagining it, had to be, but then he was leaning in too, and God, Magnus was so close to him, so close, they could almost...

  A loud noise broke them out of whatever trance they’d gotten themselves into. Looking over Magnus’s shoulder, he could see his phone lit up on the bedside table. 

  Groaning in frustration, Magnus turned over, grabbed Alec’s phone and handed it to him. Squinting his eyes to adjust to the bright screen, he managed to work out that it was a text from his mother asking him what time he was coming over tomorrow.

  “Of all the times, I swear...” Alec mumbled, unlocking his phone and tapping out a reply.

  “Who was it?” Magnus asked as Alec gave him back the phone.

  “Mum,” Alec grumbled, rubbing his eyes. 

  “Should I come tomorrow?” Magnus wanted to know.

  Alec sighed. “I don’t think it’s a good idea... things are just a little complicated at the moment. Another time though, sure.”

  Alec pretended that he didn’t see Magnus’s face fall. He didn’t need anymore guilt.

  God, what had he been thinking? Kissing Magnus was a bad idea. Magnus had only just broken up with Camille a few weeks ago, and the last thing Alec needed was to be the rebound relationship. Magnus couldn’t possibly actually want him, he was clearly just confused. Alec was broken. Magnus didn’t deserve that.

  Unable to trust himself not to fall into the same trap though, Alec turned his back to Magnus and faced the wall.

  “Goodnight Magnus,” Alec mumbled. He jumped a little as an arm slung around his waist, and a head rested against his back, but calmed himself down quickly.

  “Goodnight, Alexander,” Magnus whispered softly in his ear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I was so nervous about posting this chapter because this is the first time I've ever written anything remotely smutty so I was super unsure about it but I hope it was okay! Especially since I am a girl trying to write from a guys POV... I had to go by what I've read in other fics xD 
> 
> I kinda wanted to try and draw how I saw Clary's section but then I realised I have no drawing talent lol sorry guys!  
> Though if any of you wanna give it a shot I would love to see what you come up with!
> 
> Comments = love guys please! <3
> 
> As always, you can find me on Tumblr @hearts-ofwar :)
> 
> Until next Friday... ;)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Preparations for Chairman Meow's birthday party are a go! Plus other happenings in Alec's life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so if I thought the last chapter was a filler, I have no idea what this one is. I mean, it's important, but not as exciting as the next chapter will be sorry. 
> 
> In other news- 200 KUDOS?? OVER 3000 HITS?????? WOW. Guys I love you all so much thank you!! <3 It means a great deal, especially those of you who regularly leave lovely comments :))
> 
> Enjoy!

  The next few weeks flew by like they were nothing. Alec visited his family once a week, to his mother’s delight, and he spent his time there playing games with his brothers and swapping banter with Isabelle. It was definitely a lot easier to be around them now that they weren’t living together twenty-four-seven. 

  His cast was now completely decorated. Clary’s section was still artistically the best, but Alec couldn’t help but prefer Magnus’s. He may have been slightly biased in that area.

  Aline had drawn a very nice cartoon style image of Church, Emma had drawn various bottles of alcohol (to remind him how he got in this mess, as she put it), Isabelle had written down all of her favourite songs that she wanted Alec to listen too, and Max had drawn an adorable family portrait of the six of them. Jace had offered to draw a penis but Alec very strongly objected that, so instead Jace drew lots of bananas. They weren’t even _well drawn_ bananas. Luckily for Alec, Jace’s drawing was on the bottom half of the cast so he was able to cover it with a sock most of the time. 

  Lydia had tried to be a little more unique in how she decorated hers.

  “I want to write your dreams on it,” she’d told him one day. They hadn’t specifically sat down to decorate the cast, but it seemed that she was using this opportunity to do it. “Tell me your dreams.”

  “I don’t... really have any dreams?” Alec responded hesitantly.

  “What are your dreams, Alexander?” Lydia deadpanned, fixing him with a determined stare.

  Alec sighed. “I guess... lately I’ve been kind of thinking about how I really want to ride in a submarine?”

  Lydia pulled out a texta and started writing on the cast.

  “I am going to write it, because I believe that it is a genuine dream, but they can’t all be this silly,” she informed him. “Next dream!”

  “I don’t know! I don’t really have any dreams worth writing down!” Alec protested. It didn’t help that all of the things his mind was supplying were Magnus related _._

  “If you can’t be serious about this Alec, then this section of the cast is going to be blank. And everyone is going to think that you just don’t have enough friends to fill up a cast. Which would be a shame, wouldn’t it?” Lydia threatened him.

  Alec rolled his eyes. “If you recall, I didn’t want this cast decorated in the first place.”

  Lydia simply tapped the texta rhythmically on the cast while glaring at him in an expectant manner.

  Eventually, they managed to fill it up. Alec came up with a few things and armed with that information, Lydia was able to coax several others out of him. She tried to convince him to let her write ‘come out to my parents’ on there, but he was adamant that they’d see it which would result in him being outed anyway. In response to that, Lydia just wrote ‘tell them’, since Alec would know what it meant and that’s all that mattered.

  ‘Graduate university’ was probably the most realistic dream on there, if Alec was going to be honest with himself.

  Finally, once everyone had filled in their sections, it was Magnus’s turn. Despite the fact that Clary had said that she didn’t think random patterns were Alec’s thing, random patterns is exactly what Magnus drew anyway. 

  “It’s the only thing I know how to draw to be honest,” he’d admitted.

  Magnus could’ve drawn a poo emoji and it still would’ve been Alec’s favourite section. Naturally, Magnus made good use of his glitter textas, although Alec had to admit that he’d been expecting them to be used more than they were. Magnus had simply harped on about the importance of using the right amount of glitter because too much would make you look like a twelve year old girl who’d just discovered what eyeshadow was. Alec had to remind him that this was only a cast and that he wasn’t putting on any makeup anytime soon.

 

  Alec started going to his classes again a week after he’d gotten out of hospital. Magnus thought he should wait a bit longer but Alec didn’t want to risk it. Unfortunately for him, not all of his classes were recorded and put up online. Lydia insisted on being with him when their classes didn’t clash, which surprisingly was quite often. It made him wonder how they managed to see each other as often as they did.

  Having Lydia in class did make things a lot more fun though. It was nice to have a friend to talk to about how the lecturer was boring or how he already knew a lot of this stuff because he’d actually _done_ that week’s reading.

  However, it also meant that his social boundaries were being pushed more than usual. Alec didn’t know that many people in his classes, but apparently Lydia did.

  “Raphael!” She called out one day as they were leaving. 

  “Who?” Alec questioned.

  A gangly, dark haired boy turned around with wide eyes. He smiled when he saw Lydia, who was waving at him.

  “Lydia! It’s so nice to see you!” He greeted her, walking over. Was that a Spanish accent Alec could hear?

  “Alec, this is Raphael. Raphael- Alec,” she introduced them.

  “Hi,” Alec smiled awkwardly, propping his crutch up under his arm to give a short wave.

  “Hello,” Raphael replied, before turning back to Lydia. “What are you doing in this class?”

  “I’m not actually in it, I’m just helping Alec around,” she explained. Raphael looked surprised, and at that moment he seemed to notice that Alec was using crutches.

  “ _Dios_ , what happened to you?” He asked.

  Lydia opened her mouth to reply, but Alec bet her to it.

  “I fell,” he answered. It was part of the truth at least.

  “Nasty fall,” Raphael commented.

  “He was drunk,” Lydia chimed in.

  Raphael snickered a little. “I see.”

  “What are _you_ doing in this class?” Lydia asked in return. “Last time I checked, you weren’t doing a health major.”

  “It’s just an elective to get credit,” Raphael dismissed. “I don’t care about it much.”

  “Neither,” Alec agreed.

  They spoke for a little while longer, before Raphael excused himself to go to another class. The conversation consisted mostly of Alec listening while Lydia and Raphael caught up. Though Alec could tell there was nothing romantic between them, he couldn’t help but feel like a third wheel.

  “How do you two know each other?” Alec queried after Raphael was gone.

  “We used to work together,” Lydia shrugged. “Nothing major. He lost his job several months ago though... he’s never actually told me why, strangely enough.”

  “You never told me you have a job,” Alec mentioned.

  “ _Had_. I quit at the beginning of the year to focus on my studies.”

  

  Magnus still slept in Alec’s bed every night. They never talked about it; neither of them ever brought it up during the day. 

  A week ago, Alec and Magnus had had an argument about who’s turn it was to clean the bathroom. It got pretty heated, and Alec crawled into bed thinking that he was going to have to suffer through nightmares until someone apologised. However, right on queue, Magnus had crawled into bed beside him as though nothing had happened. It made Alec feel inexplicably happy to know that no matter how angry Magnus got with him, he would never leave Alec to face the nightmares. It by no means helped squash the gigantic crush on Magnus that was steadily growing. 

  The size of it worried Alec. He was becoming distracted at the most annoying moments by the thought of Magnus. His mind often wandered off during lectures to remember every little thing that Magnus had said to him that morning. 

  Of course, Alec couldn’t help but get distracted when Magnus was constantly walking around the dorm shirtless. One time, he’d come out of the shower with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. And it had been wrapped _very_ _low_. Alec had to turn away before both his blush and his boner became too noticeable. Unfortunately, it wasn’t before his mind had had enough time to commit the lines of Magnus’s abs to memory. 

  A regular-ish pattern had definitely settled. Magnus would crawl into bed with Alec each night, and Alec would crawl out sometime before Magnus woke up to take care of his... _problem_ that would generally pop up overnight.

  Magnus Bane was going to be the death of him.

 

  “Come on, Alexander, you need to get up!” Magnus called out.

  Alec answered Magnus with a negative grunt. This was one of the few times that Magnus had managed to get out of bed before Alec. Not that he wasn’t awake, but he definitely wasn’t wanting to get out of bed just at the moment. 

  Unfortunately for him, Magnus simply walked over and pulled back the blankets.

  “Why?” Alec groaned. “It’s Saturday!”

  “It is. It is also exactly one week until Chairman Meow’s birthday party. Therefore, we’re going shopping!” Magnus clapped his hands together excitedly.

  Oh, crap. Alec had completely forgotten that was happening next week. He’d received the Facebook invitation to the event a few days ago. Among the other fifty people that were invited were Lydia, Clary, Emma, Aline, Isabelle and Jace. Alec didn’t even know that Magnus had added his siblings until he saw it.

  “Fuck, no Magnus, I am not going shopping!” Alec complained.

  “Yes you are! You need to help me by decorations and food. And you _definitely_ need to let me buy you an outfit. I have seen the contents of your wardrobe and none of it is suitable for a function being held in the honour of my beloved feline.”

  “Why the hell are fifty people invited, anyway? This is a small dorm, Magnus!” Alec protested, choosing to ignore Magnus’s remark about his clothing.

  “Because not all of them will come, Alexander. Don’t worry, I’m estimating around thirty-five people tops!” Magnus explained brightly, as if thirty-five people still wasn’t a ridiculous amount for their tiny dorm.

  “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t be one of the fifteen who cops out,” Alec demanded.

  “Darling, there was a reason I invited your sister.”

  Alec sighed. Of course. Isabelle would never let him skip out on a party, especially one that was happening in his own dorm. She was ecstatic over the fact that he’d gone to a pub crawl - if you ignored the bad ending.

  “Will you be drinking?” Alec asked.

  “Absolutely! I didn’t have a chance to get drunk the other week,” Magnus replied.

  That rang a bell with Alec. He remembered that Magnus _had_ been planning to get drunk, yet all of his other memories seemed to support the idea that he never made it that far.

  “Why didn’t you?” Alec inquired. 

  Magnus gave him a half smile. “I didn’t think it would be very responsible of me since I was your buddy and all.”

  “You... You mean you didn’t get drunk because _I_ was going to?” Alec spluttered. “Magnus you should’ve said something!”

  Magnus simply scoffed. “And miss the chance to see you drunk? Hardly.”

  Alec swung himself to sit on the edge of the bed, and then shuffled around to the drawers so that he could get dressed.

  “I suppose if I come to this party I can return the favour,” he mumbled.

  “Oh, darling, I have other friends who never drink anyway. There is absolutely no reason why we cannot both get drunk!” Magnus declared.

  Alec could think of a few reasons. One involved an embarrassing declaration of feelings, the other involved kissing Magnus simply because it seemed like a good idea at the time. Drunk Alec was a sloppy Alec who didn’t necessarily think things through very well. Not only that, but Alec would very much like to _remember_ what Magnus was like drunk. The chances of that happening would be very small if Alec was much more then tipsy.

  “You know the best thing about this party being next week?” Magnus continued.

  “What’s that?”

  “You get your cast off on Wednesday!” Magnus reminded him. “Your leg will be mostly functional to party properly.”

  And there went another possible excuse to bail on this party.

 

  “Magnus we will _not_ need eight bags of chips, we’re ordering pizza! Four will do,” Alec protested. Magnus was going incredibly overboard when it came to food for the guests. He already had told Alec that he was planning on ordering ten pizzas on the day, as well as buying a bunch of fancy wines right now. Never mind the fact that Magnus had made sure that ‘BYO alcohol’ was clearly conveyed in the invitation.

  “You can never have too many bags of chips, Alexander,” Magnus replied, marching down the aisle. “What if a bowl gets knocked over? Then we’d be one bag short.”

  Alec rolled his eyes. Magnus was making the most ridiculous excuses for why he was buying things. Honestly, Alec suspected that he was just a shopaholic.

  “Don’t you have a budget or something?” Alec asked.

  “Why in heavens name would I have one of those?” Magnus looked absolutely appalled at the idea.

  “Because otherwise you might _run out of money_?” 

  “That’s impossible, darling,” Magnus told him, before backtracking quickly. “Well, pretty much.”

  _God, your parents must be rich._

  Alec trailed behind Magnus as he skated down each aisle, grabbing random things off the shelf as they went.

  “Oh my god, _yes_!” Magnus squealed from somewhere ahead of him. Alec groaned internally, wondering what ridiculous item Magnus had found now.

  “Alexander, we must have these!” Magnus showed him the item in question, and Alec’s jaw dropped. 

  “Oh _hell_ no, Magnus!”

  Magnus ignored him, grabbing several packets and placing them in the trolley.

  “No one is going to use them! They’ll definitely be your biggest waste of money today!” Alec tried to protest.

  Magnus fixed him with a determined glare. “I’ll _make_ people use them. It’s my party, they will do whatever I tell them.”

  “Well it’s actually your cats party isn’t it?”

  “Which is exactly why we’re getting them, Alexander. It’s definitely appropriate. Besides.” Magnus sized him up, looking back down at the package and then giving him a predatory look. “You’ll look absolutely ravishing.”

  The heat of Magnus’s stare caused Alec to gulp and look down before Magnus could see his blush.

  It had to be Alec’s imagination, but it seemed that since they’d almost kissed Magnus’s casual flirting had really been kicked up a notch. Alec couldn’t understand why - he’d managed to convince himself that Magnus’s actions were down to how tired he had been. It made sense, since the incident was never repeated and they’d been sleeping in the same bed for three weeks. 

  Magnus had been a flirt before, but that had always seemed playful, just another part of his personality. His flirting now, however, seemed more... focused. Like he _knew_ that Alec was harbouring this crush, and he liked to watch him squirm. 

  _Or maybe,_ a small voice inside Alec’s head whispered, _he actually likes you too, you idiot._

  Alec scoffed internally. Like _that_ was ever possible.

 

  When they finally got home, Alec collapsed on the bed from exhaustion. How Magnus managed to walk around all day holding so many bags of shopping and _still_ remain so chipper completely baffled him. 

  Magnus waltzed through the door behind him. He noticed Alec lying on the bed, and hummed disapprovingly.

  “You’re not even going to help me unpack the bags, Alexander?” He asked.

  “You dragged us all the way around to fill up those bags, you unpack them yourself,” Alec grumbled, snuggling into his pillows.

  Magnus huffed. “Fine then.”

  The room was quiet for a while after that, as neither of them said anything. If it weren’t for the constant rustling of the bags as Magnus unpacked them, Alec suspected he would’ve fallen asleep.

  Eventually, he heard footsteps approach the side of the bed. He turned over to see Magnus holding a bag out towards him.

  “It’s your outfit,” Magnus explained quietly. Alec nodded, and took the bag from him. As he folded the clothes and put them in the drawers, Magnus sat on the end of the bed and watched.

  Alec was too exhausted to wonder why he was doing that, or to find it creepy. When he’d finished, he returned to his previous position.

  The silence between them was surprisingly comfortable. Alec didn’t feel the need to say anything, and Magnus seemed content with his own thoughts for the time being. After a little while, he felt the tiniest amount of pressure on his leg, and he looked over to see Magnus idling tracing outlines of the drawings on his cast. Alec was entranced by the way Magnus’s fingers moved, swirling around, two at a time. Occasionally a third finger would join them though it never stayed long. The dark purple nail polish Magnus wore reflected light from the window and created little spots of light on the bed. It was while Alec was watching his fingers that he noticed something.

  “No rings today?” he asked.

  Magnus smiled and held up his other hand, which was covered in them as it normally was. “Only on this hand.”

  “Why?”

  Magnus shrugged. “I didn’t want any of them to come off while we were shopping?”

  Alec considered pointing out that they could easily have come off the other hand too, but he decided not to. 

  Suddenly, Magnus’s fingers came to a halt. Alec looked to see that they’d rested in Clary’s section.

  “Is that an ‘M’ for Magnus, Alexander?” Magnus teased.

  Alec let out a half laugh. “It’s for McDonald’s.”

  Magnus tutted. “Thats a very unhealthy habit you’ve got there.”

  “It tastes good?”

  Magnus mumbled something under his breath which Alec didn’t hear.

  “What was that?” He asked.

  Magnus looked up in surprise, before quickly averting his gaze. “Oh just... That ‘M’ stands for Magnus now. It’s been decided.”

  Was Magnus... blushing? It was difficult to tell from this far away.

  “If you say so,” Alec allowed. Something told him that _wasn’t_ actually what Magnus had said, but he didn’t feel the need to push it for some reason. 

  “You have a lot of money, don’t you?” Alec blurted out suddenly. Where the hell had _that_ come from? The last thing he needed was for Magnus to think he was some loser who only cared about the value of his friend’s bank balance.

  Magnus looked confused. “I guess so. Why?”

  “I was... just curious.”

  “Don’t you?” Magnus asked.

  Alec scoffed. “Hell no. What made you think that?”

  “You’re in a dorm on one of the top three floors of the building.”

  Now it was Alec’s turn to be confused. “Aren’t they all the same?”

  “No. The top three floors are for people who can afford a little more. You didn’t realise?” Magnus looked at him with a sense of curiosity now.

  Alec didn’t answer that. “What’s the difference between this one and the lower levels?”

  “They have _communal_ bathrooms and kitchens,” Magnus turned his nose up in disgust. “I mean, I have nothing against the concept but there’s stuff I really don’t want to be sharing with every other human being in this level. My food for one. And there’s like twenty rooms on a floor, with two people in each room. That’s forty people I’d be sharing shower and toilet cubicles with and... You didn’t know any of this?”

  Alec shook his head, looking down. “Wow, I’m an idiot. I just thought they were all like this. I mean, my parents are paying my rent so I never thought about how much it cost them.” A wave of guilt washed over him. He’d been so indifferent towards his parents since he’d moved out, he’d never realised what they were doing for him. Especially considering how tight he knew they were when it came to money.

  Magnus’s gaze softened. “You feel bad now, don’t you?”

  Alec said nothing, and looked away. 

  He jumped as he felt something smooth and warm touch his hand. Looking down, he saw that Magnus had reached over and placed his hand over Alec’s. Alec felt his skin heat up and go all tingly at Magnus’s touch. 

  “I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that money is a problem in your family?” Magnus asked not unkindly, gazing deep into his eyes. Alec could only hold them for so long before he felt his face heat up and he looked away.

  “It’s not a _huge_ problem but it’s not something we have buckets of, no,” Alec admitted quietly.

  “It’s an entirely normal problem, Alexander. Lots of people have trouble with money. But your parents decision to pay a little more for your rent was exactly that - _their_ decision. There’s no use feeling bad about it because I highly doubt that it’s something they’ll change their minds over.”

  Alec’s eyes flickered to Magnus then, and he was presented with a small half smile - the one Alec liked most.

  “You’ve never met my parents,” Alec reminded him.

  “From what you’ve told me, I can guess,” Magnus answered.

  They stayed like that for a while longer than probably would’ve been comfortable for anyone watching. Gazing at each other, smiling, with Magnus holding Alec’s hand. The light in Magnus’s eyes made Alec’s stomach do flips and his heart thumped faster and louder in his chest. Alec couldn’t bring himself to move away, and he was too caught up in the other’s eyes to realise that Magnus wasn’t moving away either. Magnus’s hand slid from Alec’s and moved further up his arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps in his wake. The touch burned, and it left Alec’s skin remarkably cold as it passed.

  Of course, at that moment, his stomach did more then flip. It growled in hunger.

  Magnus laughed and removed his hand. “I think dinner is more then overdue, don’t you?”

  Alec nodded, but couldn’t laugh. He hadn’t realised how much anticipation had been building inside him until it was let down like a deflating balloon.

 

  “Mr. Lightwood,” the doctor called. Alec rose from his seat, and followed her down the hall. He hated hospitals now. All he could think of when he stared at their blindingly white walls was the pain he’d woken up to that night. 

  “Take a seat on the bed,” she instructed him once they’d reached her office, shutting the door. Alec did as he was told, and swung his leg up.

  “I’m Dr. Loss. You know what we’re doing here today?” She asked with her back turned to him.

  “Yes,” Alec replied. Dr. Loss was moving items around on the bench across from him, and it kind of scared him a little. A nurse entered the room then, carrying some kind of tool and the power cord for it.

  “Ah, I was looking for that,” Dr. Loss said when she saw what the nurse was holding. 

  “Sorry Cat,” the nurse apologised. “Jia was unaware you were going to need it today.”

  Dr. Loss rolled her eyes. “I’d only told her a billion times.”

  The nurse turned to leave, but the doctor stopped him. “Actually, Mark, could you stay?”

  Mark nodded, albeit if not looking a little confused.

  “Why isn’t someone here with you, Alec?” Dr. Loss asked him. “You’re going to need help getting home.”

  “My sister is coming, she just had a class. She should be here soon,” Alec explained.

  Dr. Loss grunted, but didn’t say anything about it. “Mark, since his sister isn’t here you’ll need to hold him steady while I take the cast off.”

  Mark agreed and pulled up a chair next to Alec’s bed. Alec gulped and looked away, feeling a little awkward at the proximity of a stranger.

  “Now, Alec. I’ll be using this saw-” she gestured to the saw Mark had given her. “To remove the cast on your leg. You’ll likely feel a little bit of pressure as it cuts but it shouldn’t hurt.”

  Alec took a deep breath to calm himself. _It_ shouldn’t _hurt. How very reassuring._

  Just then, a knock on the door sounded. Mark left Alec to open it.

  A familiar voice filled the room. “I’m sorry, the nurse at the desk told me- Hey, Alec!”

  Jace had peered past the nurses shoulder to see Alec sitting on the bed. Jace was here, not Isabelle. Why was Jace here?

  Mark hadn’t budged from the doorway, and Jace threw him an irritated glance.

  “He’s my brother,” Jace said, as if that explained everything.

  After double checking with Alec that this was correct, Mark stepped aside. Jace took his chair next to the bed, which made Alec relax quite a lot.

  Dr. Loss threw them a questioning glance. “This is your sister?”

  Jace looked horrified and Alec burst out laughing at both the look on his face and the idea of it.

  “No, no, this is my brother, Jace,” Alec explained when he had composed himself enough to speak. He wasn’t able to get rid of the giant grin on his face though.

  “Isabelle got caught up, she told me to come instead,” Jace told them.

  “Caught up with what?” Alec grumbled.

  “I’ll tell you later,” Jace promised.

  Dr. Loss cleared her throat. “As I was just telling Alec, removing the cast shouldn’t hurt him. However now that you’re here, Jace, you can hold him still. We wouldn’t want to ruin those beautiful drawings now, would we?”

  “Of course we wouldn’t, Doctor. Especially not _mine_ ,” Jace replied.

  Alec coughed. “Jace, no offense but yours is the worst on there.”

  Jace punched his arm semi-lightly in reply.

  “Ow,” Alec complained, rubbing his arm. “Okay fine, I take it back. I absolutely meant to offend you.”

  “You need to work on the appropriateness of your take backs,” Jace muttered.

 

  Jace helped Alec hobble into the car after his cast had come off. Dr. Loss had traced the line of the sections for him, so now he was holding eight pieces of his cast. He almost felt like displaying some of the _really_ good ones, like Clary’s and Magnus’s, in his dorm.

  Jace’s, naturally, would be finding it’s way to the bottom of a draw somewhere.

  “Where to?” Jace asked when he took his place in the drivers seat. Alec cringed. He really wanted to tell Jace to just drive him home, so that he wouldn’t have to suffer through Jace’s driving any longer then necessary.

  Unfortunately, there was something he needed to do first.

  Reluctantly, Alec gave Jace the address of where he wanted to go. Jace was familiar with the street, so he didn’t need to use Google Maps at least.

  When they arrived, Jace noticed the sign on the building and gave Alec a sympathetic look.

  “You don’t need to do this,” He said. “The chances of you getting bashed up again are pretty slim.”

  “I know that. But I... I can’t explain it, Jace. I want- no, I _need_ to do this,” Alec told him firmly.

  Jace held his hands up in surrender. “Hey, I’m behind you all the way if this is what you want.”

  “It is,” Alec nodded.

  “Alright then.”

  Jace got out of the car, and Alec waited for Jace to let him out as well.

  Alec hated that he was so dependent on other people to move around. He’d always prided himself on being independent - he was the eldest child, after all. It was his responsibility to look after the others, not have them look after him. Limping around like this made him feel... weak. He hated that feeling.

  Even if he never needed to use self defense in his everyday life, he hoped that learning it would make him feel strong and independent again.

  They went inside the building, and the receptionist greeted them with a look of alarm.

  “My goodness, are you alright?” She asked.

  Alec was momentarily confused but he realised what they must’ve looked like to her - he was limping and leaning on Jace after all.

  “We’re fine,” he reassured her, leaning on the desk instead of Jace now. “I had a broken leg - just got my cast off today.”

  “I see,” She responded, still a little unsure.

  Alec reached into his pocket and pulled out the brochure Aline had given him.

  “I’m here about this special,” he said to her. 

  Her demeanor went from concern to business straight away, and she nodded for him to continue.

  “I was hoping to give it a try. I can’t start straight away, but the doctor says I should be able to move around better in a couple of weeks.”

  “Alright,” the receptionist - whose name was Helen, Alec could read her name tag - opened up a book in front of her. “Now, this special is for one free session of any form of self defense, and one free session of tai-chi.”

  “I have to take both?” Alec asked in surprise. “I thought it was two of just one.”

  “We’re trying to promote our new tai-chi classes,” Helen explained, almost sheepishly. “That’s the point of the special. The flyer doesn’t convey that very well, unfortunately. We really need a new advertising coordinator.”

  “Tai-chi might not actually be a bad idea for you, Alec,” Jace pointed out. “I mean, it might be good for helping you to get your leg back to full strength.”

  “It’s a very flexible class, because we don’t have many students yet,” Helen agreed. “So we can work with and around your leg as it is.”

  Alec nodded slowly. “My doctor has given me some exercises she wants me to do. Would you maybe be able to incorporate those into the class?”

  “I’d have to check with Master Starkweather, but I am pretty sure he’d be happy to give it a shot,” Helen smiled.

  Alec thought it over for a few minutes, before agreeing.

  “Excellent!” Helen was clearly very excited at the prospect of a new client. “Now, which days would suit you best?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready to partyyyyyyyy next chapter!!  
> I kind of have no idea what's going to happen at this party but I guarantee you guys will not be disappointed! It shall be epic (I hope?)
> 
> I also really have no idea how long this story will go for. The original plan was 23 chapters, but then some things that I thought would happen in one chapter actually took up two soooooo...
> 
> Please leave comments if you liked it!! It's chapters like this that kind of get me down because I feel like they're not as exciting as others so it's really nice to hear if you actually really liked it.
> 
> I'm on tumblr @hearts-ofwar. Find me, follow me, talk to me, stalk me - whichever you prefer, or all of the above even! ;)


End file.
